January 26, 2006

• Family Issues ...

  
  

  We've been doing something new and different.  We've done it twice now, and I'm feeling pretty good about it.  We're having Family Meetings.  The boys and I sit down, we don't spend any more than ten minutes.  And we do "go arounds" where we go around answering a question.  Right now, the questions aren't deep.  They aren't trivial either.  Bot for now the point is to establish a habit and to practice active listening. 

  
  

  Our go arounds have been

  
  

  
  
  • "Tell us something good that happened this week."
  
  
  • "Tell us something you wish had gone differently since the last time we talked."
  
  
  • "Say something that you really like about the other two people here."
  
  
  • "What one thing can we change that will help solve our problem."

  
  

  The problem in question was how to arrange chores so that they are getting done.

  
  

  Some times the boys have a hard time taking it seriously.  For the "something you like" they were saying things like, "I don't think he's farted as much today ..."

  
  

  But I also heard things that were really cool.  We heard how Tucker's class had a "spinach party."  And we learned that Michael is worried about graduation.  I've been telling the boys for two years that we are a team.  We work together and support each other.  I'm hoping that the family meeting will make our team stronger. 

  
  

  When we got down to problem solving, I was expecting that they would suggest that the problem could be solved if I would just stop getting upset about things that weren't done.  But instead, the boys said that sometimes their chores feel overwhelming, so they suggested that instead of doing everything after school, they will do a couple things in the morning and a couple in the afternoon.  That seems very reasonable to me, but I don't know if I would have ever thought of that as a solution.

  
  

  I'm optimistic about this.

  
  

   

  • 10:19 pm
  • 7 Comments