May 15, 2005

  • And I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For ...


    Wow, it's been almost an entire week since I've posted a blog.  And I'm sitting here yawning and sleepy trying to think of what's the most significant thought in my mind.  Some white rabbit of a thought that I can chase down the cyberhole and maybe come up with something worth saying in the end. 


    But the truth is that I'm tired and having a hard time focusing on writing.  I keep thinking that I'm going to get into a rhythm of work and not-work.  Build up a bit of endurance so that not-work time isn't all spent in recovery.  But so far, I'm not there yet. 


    Yesterday was not a good day at the restaurant.  It was a good day moneywise, I made decent tips.  But it wasn't a good day for me personally.  I was tired, I made mistakes that I don't usually make, and I wasn't smiling quite as broadly by the end of the day as I did in the beginning.  Seriously, I was stressed enough that I had a conversation with my manager about it.  Maybe I'm not as ready as I thought to assume a full load ...


    She put her arm around me and said that in large part my bad day was her fault because they kept switching the room around.  First I'd have this section with these tables, then I'd have that section and I'd have to transfer them off, then they'd move us back ... the whole day I stayed confused about which tables were mine and whether I was neglecting someone or horning in on another server's area. 


    But the other words she gave me; they're starting to sound like the chorus to the song of my life.  "The only thing I'd say I've noticed that you can work on is this thing you have about thinking you have to do it all yourself.  Ask for help.  We're a team here and when you get busy it's not a bad thing to ask someone else to make your salads or get your set-ups.  You do it for the other servers, Terri, and they don't mind doing it for you ..."


    Do you ever get to a place where you're just tired of the fact that the whole freaking universe seems to be conspiring to teach you the same lesson?  Over and over and over even though you think you're getting it but you still haven't made the grade the way you must before you pass? 

Comments (10)

  • Yes.  Yes I have.  The lesson is always repeated until learned...not until we think we've learned.    Smart you are (getting in Star Wars mode) for seeing that fact.

  • I know the feeling. I'm sorry work is hard right now...I know that feeling too. Don't worry...you aren't in this boat alone. Kisses, Kate

  • I had a counselor in college say that life is rather like a circular stair case.   We are climbing up, but we're also moving around in a circle.  We keep coming back to the same view/life lesson, but we're looking at it from a little higher up, and a bit farther away each time...with more details to see that we couldn't see before.     It made me forgive myself...and is something I go back to frequently.  ((hugs))

  • I can't imagine a more exhausting job... and no 'net access to boot?

    Hang in there, Terri.

  • LOL, mine is be still and know that I am God. I too have a hard time asking for help, but I think you handled the situation brilliantly, by being up front with the supervisor.

    Heather

  • Well. Uh. You DID ask for help. You even had the gumption to go talk about your perceived 'faults' to the boss, eh? You're right on track, girl. And doing as good a job as ANYONE could.

  • to answer your question...YES

  • Still working on that same lesson myself....

  • Definetly . I wonder when I will learn and it seem's as if the answer is never at times . When will I ever learn this lesson we call life ?

    Seem's as if you are just tired and a little burned out from stress , or life . Life is so stressful . I think you'll be fine with your job and I don't think you made a mistake at all . Take Care ! Peace and Love :)

  • God is funny about that. He doesn't give up on His children. Mike

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