January 25, 2004

• Out of Time -

  
  

  Do you ever have a day or an hour that seems to be something "other" than regular time?  You do things, see things, feel things and say things that just don't quite fit with your normal life?  I've had such a weekend. 

  
  

  Natasha took me shopping.  And oh, what shopping it was.  I won't tell you all the scandalous details, but she began by saying "You have to come in this store and see these panties, they would make even the most boring butt interesting ..."  My poor kids.    They did the typical male thing, sat in the chair and rolled their eyes at the antics of the women. 

  
  

  We tried to accommodate them too, we thought it would be fun for them to go ice-skating.  Well, Tucker made it around the rink once mostly hanging onto the wall and Natasha.  Michael got onto the ice and then had a full scale panic attack.  So he and I sat out the experience.  We were somewhat redeemed when we took them for ice cream instead.  But then we were back to the "girl" stuff and they were back to long-suffering male mode. 

  
  

  After reading about it for years, I had to see if it's true that the Waffle House here is some kind of Bermuda Triangle where interesting people are sucked out of their normal time and existence for the entertainment of the diners.  Well, perhaps that's not exactly the way it happens, some of the interesting people transported to the WH are the diners.  Perhaps it would be better described as a phenomena in which entertainment and writing fodder are arranged for Natasha's benefit.  The kids were pretty sure they wanted to go to MacDonald's but well, Natasha was driving the truck and I voted for Waffle House, so they were out of luck.  They sulked.

  
  

  Oh, they sulked in a fine sulky fashion.  When it came time to order, they said, "No thank you, we aren't hungry."  Natasha and I ordered our food.  And talked.  And while we talked and they sulked, the smells of hash browns and grilled cheese began to melt their cold little hearts.  Surreptitiously, Michael reached for a menu.  He didn't SAY that he changed his mind and wanted to order, he just started waving his fingers over a particular menu item as though he could charm it off the paper without having to lose any face by admitting that maybe he really WAS hungry after all.  And he was hungry.  We had walked him all over the mall, all over several other stores, plus, there was the adrenaline rush from the panic attack working on his system.  He was hungry.  We knew it, he knew it, and we just waited him out.  Eventually, he ordered a dinner. 

  
  

  Once Michael caved, Tucker couldn't hold out much longer.  And surely enough, faster than the speeding waitress could offer advice on the proper behavior of children when they had someone offering to buy them dinner, he had expressed his desire for a grilled cheese sandwich with a pile of pickles on the side.  Natasha approved that order.  Harmony was restored, we thought.  Then we heard from the cook - WHAT DO YOU MEAN CHANGE THE ORDER AGAIN!!!  I'm really glad that the cook at Waffle House does his job right there where you can watch him. Because I'm pretty sure if he'd been back where he could work unseen, he'd have spiced Tucker's food with something less savory than pickle juice. 

  
  

  See what I mean - it isn't that people are transported there for the benefit of the generic diner, it's all to give Natasha fodder - because last night my KIDS were the entertainment. 

  
  

  They weren't the only entertainment in the place.  The waitress was full of interesting advice and a couple who came in just before we left must actually live at that address.  They started taking off their shoes, he pulled out the newspaper, and the cook didn't have to ask them what they wanted, he just began to prepare their "usual." 

  
  

  When Natasha came to my house, I cheated.  I kept the kids off the Nintendo for two weeks prior and then the night before the big weekend, I rented them a new game.  They disappeared and didn't come up for air.  This time, she's gotten much more the flavor of what they are really like.  And subcw Tucker has only kicked her a half dozen times, so I think it's going pretty well ...

  
  

  I'm headed home today through some rainy and possibly freezing conditions, so you guys think happy, warm safe thoughts about me okay?  Time to get back to regular time. 

  • 8:05 am
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