March 25, 2007

• Almost Six ---

  I've been blogging for almost six years now.  Six years in which my Baby has grown from four to ten years old, I've moved from the flatlands to the mountains, and Almost every surface aspect of my life has undergone a radical change.

  How much have I changed inside?

  I reread some of my old blogs this morning, just for the fun of it.  And I think that in someways, my behavior has changed significantly.  I'm more assertive these days.  More independent.  Less patient with people who want someone else to mother them (I still have a very strong nurturing personality, but I don't NEED to be mothering someone.  I'm not as susceptible to being caught up in co-dependent cycles.)

  On the other hand, I'm still intrigued by the processes of learning, knowing, experiencing and becoming.  I have less time for reading philosophy, but that hasn't stopped my consideration of philosophical questions and I have been able to bring them to bear with some considerable success in my working life.

  My circumstances have changed.  I've been up and down the roller coaster.  And I've shared that ride with you. 

  Recently someone said to me that I had shared too much of my personal life on my weblog and that someday my children would be embarrassed to read it but by then it would be to late to recant.

  I have no desire to recant here.  There's nothing I've said that's not true to the way I think and feel about my life.  If there's more information about my finances than people usually publish, it's also true that I haven't published so much that I've set myself up for identity theft or fraud.  If someone else can learn to avoid mistakes I've made, or be encouraged that if I can achieve my goals with these resources then maybe they can achieve their goals too, I think that's a good thing. 

  And if my kids are someday embarrassed?  Well, that's what the therapy jar is for.  Every now and then, I tell them - "I know this is not what you want to hear, it will probably scar you for life, so when you're older I'll help you pay for therapy, but in the meantime, you MUST clean your bathroom or I will ground you for a week from everything but breathing." 

  And I put a dollar in the "therapy jar."  Yes, our therapy jar really exists, as of today it contains $4.25 so they would be getting a really GOOD therapist to repair the damage I've done.

  Okay - I will admit that we also have spent money from the therapy jar on activities that we all agree we need to promote our mental health.  My mental health is greatly improved by Ben and Jerry's or Godiva.  Tucker's requires some kind of one to one interaction (so he goes for games and toys that require a playmate), and Michael's brain waves are stimulated by new tunes for his MP3 player.

  Michael Story ---

  Okay, it starts as a Momi story.  When I was a child my mom would slam open the bedroom door, flip on the lights, and yell at me to get out of bed.  That started my day on such a horrible note that by the time I was in high school, I was waking on my own at 5 so I could be up first and get my shower and get ready for my day before there was any trauma.

  So as a mom, I'm concerned that my kids wake up gently and in ways that encourage them to feel good about their day and themselves.

  I usually enter their rooms quietly and stroke their back while they are sleeping to wake them.  I snuggle them while they sleepily blink their eyes and tell them I love them and that I can't wait to have another day with them.

  So a couple mornings ago, I went into Michael's room and started the stroke his back process.  He blinked his eyes a couple times and very sleepily said, "Mom, I know you love me, but could you love me later?  I'm trying to sleep." 

  • 9:56 am
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