UPdate

In the meeting with the school people I got EVERY education accommodation I asked for.  Michael's teacher's obviously regard him well and want to see him succeed.  However, the accommodations are written under 504 rather than Spec Ed and that means he will no longer be eligible for the special bus transportation. 

I have requested a meeting with the transportation coordinator. 

If this gets worked out - Happy Dance.  If it doesn't get worked out, I'll have to transport Michael myself which means that I'll have another challenge to my job situation.  

BUT - even without the 500 pound gorilla, Michael will be getting the support he needs in class, and ultimately, that's the most important thing.  Right?

Thank you for your prayers and support.

PS - From the list of things I need, I AM dipping into savings tonight to buy Michael a coat.  I didn't realize until this morning that he can't zip the one he's worn for the past two winters.     

FYI -

A single mom, with income of less than $30k per year (that includes child support) who has two children with disabilities (Autism and AD/HD are legally considered disabilities) makes too much money for the kids to quailfy for benefits that would help pay for therapy, medication, and/or counseling. 

Just thought you'd want to know.

Anybody wanna buy another book?

Seriously, I don't want to be a whiner, and I know that I have it better than a lot of people in this country, much less around the world.  But it is frustrating.  I pay over $100 a month just for doctor visits and prescription co-pays.  The counselor (whom we are not seeing at the moment because of budget issues) suggests that the kids need to be enrolled in programs at the Y, and that they need group therapy.  

I'm not bragging on this (okay well maybe a little) but I'm the absolute hands down best budgeter I know.  And I can't figure out how to make all this work.  I don't want a LOT.  I'm not asking to be a millionaire (in spite of the implications of last week's blog).  I do want to see a pathway that will get me from where I am into a mortgage.  I want to provide the things my kids need.  And I want to have a few dollars left over to save for a rainy day.  The trouble is ... it's raining NOW.  And I'm tired.

I lost my stupid glasses and I can't afford to replace them, my car needs brake work, my oldest son needs a coat, I have been putting off dental work that needs to be done for about 4 months?  Something like that (I broke a tooth).  My list of the "luxuries" isn't very luxurious.  I don't want a handout.  I just want to figure out how I can turn my labor into the things my family NEEDS. 

Sigh

Okay enough whining. 

I do have a little left in my savings account, but I'm afraid to dip into that because my employment situation remains precarious for a lot of reasons that I don't want to go into right now, and I'm afraid that if I spend that money I'm going to need it to pay rent and buy groceries while I'm looking for yet another job. 

I'm off to deal with school stuff.

If you have a moment and the will, pray for me and my attitude. 

I'm tired.

Monday Monday ...

Anybody else out there having a Monday?

Okay, good things ...

1. I talked to my sister Cheryl, and she made it a whole week without another heart problem.
2. I talked to my sister Sam, and she made it another whole week without croaking from the e coli.  (And appears to be recovering.
3. I talked to the people at the Fraser Clinic where Michael was first diagnosed and they are sending me copies of the initial evaluation report that I can use with the school.
4. I talked with the Austism Society of Colorado Springs rep (who told me to never use the term Pervasive Developmental Disorder (Not otherwise Specified) because people don't know what that means.  I'm supposed to be saying "Autism" because then people have a better idea what I'm talking about.
5. I talked with a representative of the Peak Parent Center who told me word for word what to say to the school people tomorrow when we meet to discuss our next steps.

Now, I just need a 500 pound gorilla to go and stand behind me while I talk to them.  I don't care if the gorilla doesn't do anything more than carry my purse, it will make me feel better. 

Come to think of it, I would like a gorilla to follow me around with my purse all the time. 

yeah.  That would be good.

I AM ordering more copies of my book.  I'm hoping I'll need them for people who will be asking whether I have extra copies so they can give one to their sister for Christmas.  SO if you were thinking about that and worried that I'd run out, fear not.  I'm too obsessive to let that happen.    I can't tell you how excited I am that people are reading my poems.  Thank you! 

 Second Chance!

A couple of people who originally told me that they wanted to have autographed copies of my book have since backed out. One of them originally requested 10 and then decided that ordering from the website worked as well. Anyway, that has returned 10 books to my inventory here, so if you would like to have a autographed copy, it's not too late.

Message me with your address. The deal I'm offering my Xanga friends is that I will send you the autographed book for the cover price, no charge for shipping and handing. Anyone thinking about ordering extra copies as stocking stuffers? there's time. And if it looks like I need to get more author copies, I can do that.

Michael Report

I think I'm prepared for the meeting with the school people. The only thing I have left to get is a copy of the original evaluation and diagnosis faxed to me from the Fraser Clinic in Minnesota. I'll be calling tomorrow morning to request their assistance. But otherwise I'm as ready as I can be.

I do wish I had a person who could go with me to the meeting. It's intimidating to have 7-8 people on the other side of that table and just me on my side. I know that I have a lot of spiritual and virtual support though. And thank you for your kind comfort, I need it. Every BIT of it.

Weighty Issues

Some Day - I need to write a poem about weight and body image. But today is not the day. James congratulated me on resisting the urge to have the spinach salad as a quick means of weight loss, but I have to confess to a moment of thinking about it! I've been avoiding the Weight Watchers meetings for the past couple of weeks because I know I've been under stress, and I swear when I'm under stress my body can gain weight on carrot sticks and water.

(Did you know that Proust starved to death on coffee and brioches? I'm thinking there are worse ways to go. I'd get to taste things I really like, and in the end, I leave a skinny corpse ...)

Anyway. I realized that sitting around avoiding the scale and feeling fat wasn't helping.

So I weighed myself this morning. And I've had absolutely no change in my weight for the past two weeks. That could have been a lot worse.

how 'bout them hawgs ...

Whoooooo Pig ... Soooooieee

What's a Disability?

I have spent much time this week reading, researching, preparing myself for a meeting with the school and asking myself a lot of questions.  Mostly, I want to know what constitutes a disability and what is an "appropriate" educational expectation and outcome.  My son struggles with Pervasive Developmental Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, and Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder. 

The school tells me that's not a disability and that they are not therefore obligated to provide special educational services.  They conclude this because his IQ is normal. 

So?

I'll be going to the mats on this one. 

Millionaire Next Door ...

One of the most fun aspects of my job is writing this Financial Literacy book.  (Working Title:  Livin' Big! even if your budget isn't large).  The first chapter of that book deals with attitudes and perceptions about money and wealth.  Thoughts and beliefs shape our attitudes.  Attitudes prompt us to act.  Action determines what kind of life we have.  So the first step to changing the kind of life we live is to take a look at the thoughts and beliefs shaping our attitudes.

I didn't put it in the chapter (yet) but I've been thinking a lot about "What does a wealthy person look like?"  I learned to look at abstract questions and qualities through the lens of that question when I first tried to explain kindness to my two year old.  I mean, telling Tucker now that he should "be kind" is liable to provoke a blank stare.  It was laughable when he was little.  So I came up with a whole series of Kindness looks like ... statements that we could repeat and actions that we could practice to learn kindness. 

And let's be honest.  None of us wants to come to a financial literacy class to learn how to live like a pauper.  We want financial literacy so we can live like a millionaire.  But the question is, how do millionaires live?  Do they drive fast cars?  Do they live in mansions with three swimming pools and servants in the kitchen preparing tasty but fat free meals so we can look good when we go out yachting?

Several years back, Thomas Stanley and William Danko published the results of a twenty year study of the habits of wealthy people and the results were surprising.  They defined wealthy as having a net worth in excess of $1 million.  You see how tricky they are!  They didn't look at material possessions, or fancy lifestyle.  We all know people who drive fancy cars, live in fancy houses, and take fancy vacations, but have a fancy load of debt they will never pay.  There's a good old Texas saying for that kind of wealth, "Big hat, no cattle."  So to qualify as wealthy for the purposes of the study it didn't matter how many Ferrari's you parked in your garage.  They wanted to know, if you wrote a check to your Mom for a million dollars, would it bounce. 

*Millionaires work in dull/normal businesses.  They are welding contractors, rice farmers, mobile home park owners, pest controllers, accountants, lawyers and doctors.  2/3 of millionaires are self-employed.

*Millionaires tend to be married, with three children and stay-at-home wives.  If their wives work they tend to be teachers. 

*Annual income of millionaires is about $131,000.  They don't get to be millionaires by making million dollar a year salaries.

*Millionaires live on much less than they make.  The average millionaire saves and invests 20% of the annual income.  He wears inexpensive clothes and drives an American made car for many years before trading it in.  The most popular vehicle of wealthy men is the Ford F150.

(I personally know four men who fit the definition of millionaire as outlined in the study, and one of the most interesting things to me is that not one of the four drives a new car.  Each of them found a reliable used car because they refuse to eat the depreciation that occurs the moment you drive a new vehicle off the lot.)

*They believe that education is extremely important for their children and grandchildren and will spend heavily on education for their offspring. They encourage their children to become accountants and lawyers.

*Millionaires have seen that women are financially handicapped in comparison to men, so they are much more willing to share wealth with their daughters than with the sons who have the economic deck stacked in their favor. 

*Millionaires don't live in the most expensive neighborhoods, they live in houses they have owned for 20 years worth an average of $300,000. 

I have had the growing idea that it isn't a specific dollar amount of money that will make a person wealthy, it's having enough money to live on without working.  The millionaires in the book have that.  With their lifestyles, many of them could live 15-20 years on their accumulated wealth without ever making another dime.  And since I'm already living on far less than $20,000 a year, I'm thinking that I don't have to be a millionaire to be wealthy. 

I can wear inexpensive clothes and not feel loss of status (although I will admit that I tend to spend a little more on my shoes ...)  I know that each of us will read this and take away something different that will either affirm or challenge our thinking.  Here's what I got from the book, a wealthy person has nothing to prove to anybody.  He doesn't need a big hat, he has the cattle.  

It looks like my sisters are both going to recover.  I am working on solving the situation with the school.  I have gotten a good night's sleep and I'm feeling a little better.    Thank you.   

You People Rock

I can't describe to you my reaction when I logged in this morning and so HOW MANY comments you left on my "bad day" blog from yesterday.  But I can tell you that I felt an embarrassingly sentimental warm fuzziness. 

Just in Case you Were Wondering

It IS All About ME ...

Today's episode of Terri's life is brought to you from the, "Stop the world please, I need to get off the ride and barf" side of the equation.  I'd like to catch you up on a few highlights of the past ... oh, four days. 

First, I learned that my sister who has been sick with some kind of intestinal flu (high fever, can't eat, and other symptoms best not discussed in public) for about three weeks didn't have intestinal flu at all.  She is one of those who had the spinach salad and it's official, she's battling an e coli infection.  She's lost an impressive amount of weight, and rumor has it that her crankiness factor is becoming something to behold. 

I'm making a point of speaking with my sister often, just to check and see how things are looking.

On Sunday morning, I learned that a friend's baby died.  Little Grace was born about six weeks ago with Trisomy 18.  We knew that her days were limited, but there's no way to steel yourself for that kind of loss.

My first performance review was scheduled for this afternoon at 4.

I haven't felt well for about three days.  Nothing like others have been going through, so I'm keeping the complaint to a low murmur, but I just haven't felt well.  Yesterday, the worst was that I was in pain at work, had difficulty concentrating, and generally felt like I was in some odd different place because I couldn't quite connect my body to the time and place it was occupying.

My other sister has been experiencing a number of health concerns for several months.  She had preliminary tests, was admitted to the hospital for an angiogram, and they discovered blockage severe enough to require a stent to hold her artery open.  I spoke with her yesterday after the procedure and she sounded good.  She still had IV's in her arms so it was difficult for her to hold the phone.  She solved that by having her husband put the phone on speaker and propping "me" on her left boob.  I'm told I was quite comfortable there.

I talked with her again this morning.  Her heart didn't explode overnight so they were springing her at first light.  When we spoke, she and Mom had stopped for gas and a snack so she took advantage of the lull to call me. Cheryl is lamenting that she will be forced to change her routine from the Poptarts and Pepsi she prefers (breakfast of champions) to something a little more adult like ... oatmeal and prunes.

I was trying to tell her that prunes are not that bad, and besides, it doesn't have to be oatmeal EVERY day.  She can also have bran, or just skip the middle man and puree a jumprope, with a banana and some yogurt.  She didn't think that was so funny.  While we were talking Mom returned with a diet coke and bag of chips.  I can tell that this is not going to be easy. 

We had the review of Michael's IEP (Individual Education Plan) at school this afternoon.  He's doing fabulously well.  So well, in fact, that they want to stop the services for special needs.  Unless I can figure out some way to persuade them otherwise, he gets no more OT, no more speech and language, no more special bus that picks him up in our parking lot every morning. 

Mom called and told me that she and Dad have decided to forgive the remaining debt I owe them.  I've been paying it down, and I was within about 7 months of having it completely paid off.  My initial response was to be very stubborn and say, I will pay what I owe thank you.  But my best friend, (who has a diabolical way of phrasing things so that I can't squirm away) said, "Are you going to honor that graciously?"

Whew ....

And did I mention that I was to have my performance review this afternoon?  So I got back to the office, my boss asked me if I was all right and I lost it.  Totally embarrassed myself with a weeping, wailing breakdown.  My review has been put off another week.    and in the meantime, I've been told that I am to take time tomorrow morning to contact agencies, set up appointments with social services, and do whatever I need to do to get hooked up with the resources to help Michael ... on the clock. 

I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. 

So I came home to the kids.  Supervised their homework.  Put on my pajamas.  And typed this blog. 

It's rainy and cool outside.  I'm thinking that I'll curl up in my big blue chair with a ball of yarn and a crochet hook.  I might or might not actually construct anything.  But I need to do something that feels comfortable.  I need to gather my bearings and just .... be ....