Cyber Cafe

Hey, Hey, Hey to you all. I'm sitting in a cybercafe, called "Kool Beans" which has a really quirky ponytailed owner guy who's sitting outside to catch rays while I'm surfing the web. Haaaaa haaaa! How much better can it get. On vacation in Florida and checking in with my Xanga friends.

I'm having a great time. I'd wish you were all here, except I don't think there's room in the suite. Next time . . .

Well, as "kool" as this is, I'm paying for the time, so leave me e-props for remembering you in the midst of paradise. I'm heading back to my rest and relaxation.

Almost Ready -

Well, I'm almost ready to hit the road.  I've packed the essentials.  Camera (with fresh batteries and extra film), Games (my friend is travelling with me and we love games), Books (The top of the stack is a new Romance by a friend of mine - if you like Romance at all - check out Betina Krahn.  She's not just my friend she's a good writer and a funny lady.)  CD's for the drive.  Favorite shampoo, conditioner, bubble bath . . .

Oh Yeah!  I'll need clothes.  Oh, man, there isn't any more room in my suitcase!  Should I leave something behind?  . . . Honey - you won't be using this bag this week, will you?

(I don't know who invented the term "travelling light" but I can guarantee you that I'm NOT related to him - surely it wasn't a her.)

Rest

I have a friend who leads the kind of lifestyle that most of us fantasize about.  She travels around the globe with her husband.  The two of them are free to pursue their most passionate interests.  She meets fascinating people and has seen most of the wonders of the world.

Every so often, she makes a point of letting us all know that she is so exhausted by her frenetic pace, that she just must take a week or month of "vacation."  Most of the time, I don't much appreciate her perspective, as it often means that she is choosing vacation over the option to visit her aging mother or help her daughter, who's raising an autistic child and could certainly use some rest herself.

Over the years I've built up a kind of resistance to the phrase "I need a rest."  Mostly because of the way my friend uses this excuse to avoid familial responsibility.  As most of you who've been my readers for a while could guess, I take family responsibility seriously.

Now I'm in an awkward position.  I really need a rest.  I've been away from my home for most of the past four months helping to care for my Granny.  My husband and I have just worked through some heavy issues in our relationship.  We are doing better than we have in years, but I used up a lot of my emotional reserves in that process.  I've gone through two rounds of illness that devastated my whole family for a week at a time so I'm physically exhausted.  And I have the opportunity to go to Pensacola, Florida for a week.

Wouldn't you know?  I feel guilty.  I mean really guilty.  I can think of a half dozen other people who need a trip to Florida as badly or worse than I do, my Mom and my sister Madeline top that list.  I'm not going to be neglecting any family responsibility.  My kids are going with me and will get to spend three days with their Papa Joe and Grandma Shirley.  My husband is going out of town on business next week, so by the time he realizes I'm gone, I'll be back.

((I don't feel guilty about interrupting homeschool, because my son has finished the entire year's worth of curriculum already.  Brag, brag, brag.  The only thing we hadn't covered by Christmas was how to tell time.  I told him a last week that when he learned it, I'd buy him a watch.  He has been reading every clock in sight for the past three days, and I have to admit - he's earned the watch.))

So here I am packing.  I keep rehearsing all the reasons that I need and deserve this trip like I'm still trying to convince myself that I'm permitted enjoyment.  You know what.  I'm declaring my independence from the need to feel that I deserve this trip.  That's what's been really bothering me about my friend.  Instead of honestly stating "this is what I want to do" she always made it out to be so needed that anyone who didn't agree the vacation must take precedence over needs was just being unfair and judgmental.  (It obviously didn't work, I had a judgmental attitude about her decision anyway.  )

The truth is that I want to go to Florida.  I want to enjoy myself.  And I have the opportunity.  I'm not going to ruin it by dragging along guilt - I'm almost done packing, and I can see that there's no room for it in my suitcase.

The Infinite Game -

Have you ever thought about what kind of game you play?  I read a book last summer that at first was just mildly entertaining, but I find that I'm thinking about it more and more and actually applying some of the principles it discusses.  Scary Monsters!  I may have actually learned something.

The book is Finite and Infinite Games by James Carse.  I have always like the metaphor of life as a game, so when I saw this book in the philosophy section of my library I picked it up.  There are a lot of ideas expressed in the form of very brief essays.  (Some only a few paragraphs)  But they all come down to what kind of game do we choose to play.

If we play to win, we are engaged in a finite game.  As soon as there is a winner or a loser, the game is over.  The goal of an infinite game is to continue the play. 

When I first read this little book I thought it was a neat source for those inspirational quotes that crop up everywhere.  But as time goes by I'm evaluating a lot of my life decisions based on this very simple idea.  Will this option end the game?

I have a lot more fun when I play to continue the game.  That is reason enough to adopt more of this philosphy.

Thanks!

Someone nominated me for an award on justmargie's site.  I don't know which of you sweet people did this, but many thanks.  It was a very pleasant surprise for me.  And the category Most Positive Xangan thrills me as well.  Now I'm feeling pressure to produce more and better work. 

I may need to just lie down and put my feet up. 

What is it with January?

I'm not what you might call outdoorsy.  I much prefer a warm fire, cup of tea, and a book to the sting of mosquitos, the itch of grass, or the sneeze of hayfever.  (It isn't that I don't LIKE Nature, it's more that I'm allergic to it.)

The one season of the year that there is nothing in the air that irritates my allergies, it's so cold that my nose hairs freeze.  But, I must not mind so much, because for the second January in a row, I'm making trips through the snow every couple of hours to take care of animal needs.

Last year, I had pregnant goats.  So I was out in the barn in much colder weather acting as prenatal consultant and midwife to a couple of very delicate ladies.  The goats were sold last fall to free me up for travel.  You'd think I'd have learned to be content by the fireplace with a book.

This year I have a new dog.  Nothing like the fear of piddle puddles on my carpet to get me outside very 2 hours even in the coldest of weather.  And some days it's magical out there.  The new "banner" I installed yesterday, is a photo taken in my backyard on Sunday.  Not every winter day is this pretty, but the ones that are make up for a lot of brown muddy ones.

Welcome Simone -

As you may notice by the new profile pic, we have a new member of the family.  She is a teacup poodle, named Simone.  Simone comes to us courtesy of a long series of circumstances.  Her first owner abused her and broke her hip.  Then her second owner had to give her up as the result of a divorce.  She came to my sister's home last summer, but they have found that their schedule doesn't allow them to spend as much time with her as she needs.  So Simone lives with us now. 

We are all fairly well impressed with her temperment and manners.  Tim wishes that if we had to have a dog, she'd be large and ferocious to scare away strangers.  The worst damage Simone could do to an intruder would be if they laughed themselves into a heart attack over her tiny little bark.

So far the cats have even dismissed her as unworthy of a fight.  I like her, though.  Yes, she is an adult and yes, that is the smallest dog tag made that she's wearing from her collar.

Those Who Mourn . . .

Sometime back I did a couple of Xanga posts on the Beatittudes.  They were meant to be the first two in a series, but I never finished the series.  In the spirit of keeping New's Years Resolutions, I have finished the third post.  I updated the time stamps on the previous two so that you can check them out immediately below.

The Beattitudes are the opening statements of the Sermon on the Mount.  Matthew presents this sermon as the first preached by Jesus in his gospel account.  The statements Jesus makes in his introduction are familiar enough in our culture that we are at risk for missing how very odd they would have sounded to first century hearers.  But each of the Beattitudes contradicts a corresponding "common sense" saying of the Greek/Roman world.  Just imagine if someone were to claim that "Power Sanctifies and Absolute Power Sanctifies Absolutely."  We'd have a hard time hearing that because we KNOW that "Power Corrupts."

The second Beattitude doesn't have to be explained to us as a counter-intuitive teaching.  We live in a culture which resists thoughts of death.  We put our senior citizens in "nursing homes" so we are spared the sight of the dying process.  (I know that not everyone does this, and nursing homes aren't necessarily evil places, I'm talking about a general trend in our culture.)  But Jesus said, "Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted."

The opening part of that phrase already sounds odd to us.  Blessed are those who mourn . . .  I've heard some pastors teach that Jesus referring to those who feel sorrow for their sin.  This is an interesting application, and I certainly don't think that it's inappropriate fo people to feel remorse, but this is not at all what the verse says.  The word used for mourning here is a very specific Greek term.  (Greeks could be misunderstood, but the Greek language contains very few ambiguous terms.  There are nine different words for mourning.  There is a word for remorse.  This isn't that word.)  The Greek word used in this verse very specifically means "to mourn a death."  We might say, blessed are the bereaved.

But then he ends it with, for they shall be comforted.  The comfort of God is unlike the comfort we receive from people.  When we want to extend sympathy, we send a card, or flowers, or maybe a casserole.  (And by the way, if anyone reading this contributed food last week when my Granny died, I want you to know it was much appreciated.  We managed to make it completely through the funeral and the follow-up settling of the details without having to cook anything, or even wash a dish.)  Little Miss Mutt deserves a special note of thanks from me.  I left Indiana in such a hurry that I forgot to pack a dress.  She brought over a half dozen outfits and I was able to attend the funeral looking much nicer than if I HAD remembered to take my funeral clothes.

As great as these expressions of sympathy are, they fall short of what God does.  You get a flavor of the difference if you look up the Greek word used for comfort.  It means to "bring close."  Literally, when God gives you comfort, He brings you close to Himself.  I have previously talked about how "blessed" means filled with God.  When you are mourning, God doesn't just fill you, He surrounds you.

A scene from my favorite movie of all time illustrates this.  In Steel Magnolias, there is a funeral scene.  If you haven't seen this movie, rent it.  If you are dry-eyed after Julia Roberts dies, then you are made of stronger stuff than me.  But, you wanna know why this is my favorite movie of all time?  The very next scene has Olympia Dukakis trying to persuade Sally Field to slap Shirley McClain.  I have never once watched this without "laughing through tears."  The comfort of God goes beyond mere laughter to real joy.  The paradox of life with God is that in our darkest moments, we experience the deepest joy.

Sermon on the Mount -

In my Bible study class there are four of us who take turns teaching.  This past Sunday was my turn.  We have predetermined material, but none of us like the author so we usually take the Bible text and write our own lessons.

I was supposed to cover all the Beattitudes.  Not a chance.  I prepared material enough to cover four of them, hoped to make it through three, and only got through the first two. 

I learned some things in my study that are still simmering in my brain.  So of course, I'm going to share them with you guys.  The "sermon on the mount" is the very first sermon that the gospels record Jesus preaching.  Now given everything else that the Bible has to say about Jesus' mission and ministry, what would you expect his first sermon to be about?  When I try to put myself in his position, I think maybe I'd want to talk about repentance, or righteousness, or faith, or a dozen heavy duty and imperative topics.  But what does he choose?

He sits down, gets their attention, and says "makarios."  This is a fascinating word.  It doesn't translate well from Greek to English.  The King James people chose the word "blessed", some modern translators use the word "happy".  The word literally means "a permanent state of possessing the favor and fullness of God."

Does this strike you as odd?  If it doesn't seem strange, I should point out that his next words "are the" make it very clear that the people he's referring to are already ... permanently ... possessed of the fullness of God.  If that thought doesn't make you uncomfortable then you've probably managed to escape the evangelical orientation of Christianity for the past 1800 years which is predicated on the idea that NOBODY is or can be "blessed" until they conform to certain creedal understandings.  But, you know, that isn't what Jesus said. 

Hmmmmm?