July 12, 2008

• Bits of the End

  Because we were apart for our birthday, Michael and I chose to celebrate the milestones today.  He's now 14, I'm now 45.  Amazing.  We took a vote and decided to go to a movie.  Then we took another vote and decided to see Hellboy II.  Aunt Cheryl played the dvd of Hellboy the First when we were there last week and we decided that we could probably handle it. 

  Tucker is the biggest movie wuss ever - next to me.  The way he dealt with the movie was to think of it in terms of being a video game with successive bosses for Hellboy to defeat.  He made it fine through all the battle scenes but when Ron Perlman started singing Barry Manilow songs it was too much for him.  He couldn't take the horror of it anymore and excused himself to the bathroom. 

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  Lambchops.

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  I've been making use of my time at home this week teaching the boys and reinforcing skills they haven't used in a year or more to prepare them to take care of themselves while I'm at work.  Tucker has been cooking bacon in the microwave, and they have both been doing daily chores. 

  In addition, I've been making sure I have everything in place that I need, including a new lunch box so I can "brown bag" it.  Only when I went to the store it's apparently not the season for lunch boxes.  I found a small black one that I could imagine some poor spouse packing for a partner who was embarrassed to be carrying lunch from home and trying to pretend that maybe it was just an exotic day planner.  And I found a pink Dora the Explorer and a purple Tinker Bell box.  That wasn't a hard decision. 

  Tucker looked at it and with his usual tact said, "mom, that really sucks."  I told him that it was either that or Dora and he said, "Well, obviously you had to have Tinker Bell, but it would have been better if it was plain purple.  Or maybe purple with some of that beadazzler stuff."  I'm so proud. 

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  Since vacation I've been inspired to try cooling new recipes.  Or at least serve my old ones with fancy presentations.  I've discovered that I can make pretty decent (RotKohl) Red Cabbage.  And my paprikish stood up well too.  Tucker and Michael both had seconds.  There are a couple other recipes I tried that I'll have to adjust for altitude.  And I'm looking forward to learning new things and trying out more challenging recipes over the coming weeks and months.

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  I'm convinced I know which medication provoked the allergic reaction.  The Dr in Arkansas prescribed an antihistamine I'd never taken before.  And though I stopped taking everything else, I took ONE more dose of it even after the whole day spent in the ER because the rash itched so that it was maddening.  THEN it occurred to me that I should look it up and see what the possible side effects of it are and guess what was at the top of the list?  "If patient develops a rash, discontinue use IMMEDIATELY."  And I'd taken it for a WEEK at that point. 

  I'm lucky my whole skin didn't melt away like the wicked witch of the west in a rain shower.  I discontinued the use of the antihistamine and the rash is clearing up although my back still itches in that one spot that you can never reach no matter how you contort your body. 

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  Red Bicycle Rose is better than birthday cake.

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  The boys and I sat around our table tonight and told stories of each other.  Things I remembered from their baby years.  Things they remembered.  Things we love about each other.  It was good.  Once or twice we were doing that 'laughter through your tears' thing. 

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  Important thing that it's taken me 45 years to learn:  Just because I'm tired of suffering and want it to end, doesn't mean I'm willing to give up the behaviors that lead to suffering.

  • 2:09 am
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