April 17, 2008

• Where There's Poop There's a Pony!

  Well, so I've had a few moments this week of thinking about what's fair and what's unfair in life.  It would be very easy to interpret my present circumstances as "unfair" and allow myself to be caught up in resentment. 

  I know that if I were in the same circumstances I'm in now, only four years ago, I'd have had no problem being approved for a loan to get that house I was drooling over.  Well, even today being approved wasn't the problem, my problem was that I'm too aware of my budget to take on a payment I couldn't afford.  Is it unfair that the payment on that house is out of my reach?  Nope.  It is what it is. 

  I'll go back to making my deposits, watching the MLS, and biding my time.  Prices may drop, or they may not.  Eventually, if I keep making regular deposits, I'll have enough money put aside to get a house that will meet all our needs.  I'm not unhappy.

  The New Earth discussion on Monday evening was all about "who are you?"  One of the fundamental questions of life.  It's one that I had superficially answered years ago, I said that I'm the sum of my experiences. 

  Tolle has challenged me to rethink that.  He says that there is something real beneath our experience, beneath our thoughts, beneath the roles we play, beneath all the things that we usually proffer in answer to the question, "who are you?"

  I've been thinking back to Psychology 101 and some of the things I learned then about personality.  I'm reminded of a story and a study.  Story first because it's more fun. 

  A wealthy man and his wife became parents to twins.  Although they appeared to be identical, they were polar opposites in personality.  One little fellow was always morose, and the other was always exuberant.  So the father approached a famous psychologist and asked how they could be balanced out a little.

  The psychologist said, "For the morose little boy, go out and buy the most wonderful, beautiful magical toys available.  Put them in a room.  Before he goes into that room tell him that the way he feels when he sees what is inside waiting for him is the worst he will feel all year.  For the exuberant little fellow, fill a room with manure, and tell him that when he sees what is inside his room the way he feels will be the best that he feels all year."

  A week later the father called and told the psychologist he was an idiot.  The morose little boy went into his room and the parents waited for an hour before they went in to check on what they presumed would be a very happy little boy.  When they opened the door, he was sitting just inside, staring at the toys, not playing with anything.  They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "The toys are all beautiful, but you know some of them were touched by other people and have germs, some are delicate and would break, some I'd have to learn to play with.  I just can't enjoy these things."

  The parents were disappointed but though well, at least with the other little boy this will have had to make a difference.  When they opened his door, they heard shouts of glee.  He was cheerfully tossing the manure in the air and having a grand old time.  They asked him what on earth he was doing and he responded, "You can't fool me!  Where there's poop there's a pony!"

  ***** we now interrupt this blog for a Tucker Story ******

  Tucker:  "Mom, if we shave my cat, I'll bet he would look just like the carpet, only wrinkled."

  ***** we now return you to your regularly scheduled blog as it is in progress ******

  A number of studies have been done about the factors that influence people's sense of overall happiness or wellbeing.  In some of these studies researchers interviewed a number of people who had significant life events either very good or very bad.  In all cases, immediately after the event: diagnosis of cancer, death of a parent, winning the lottery, or the achievement of a major life goal, the person was significantly more unhappy or happy than usual.  A year later, the persons reported that their overall happiness was about the same as what it was before the "life-changing" event. 

  All this suggests two things, first of all how you choose to think and respond to your circumstances is more important than your circumstances.  People faced with the same circumstances and experiences do not become more alike in their personality than they were before they experienced it (you are more than your experiences), and there is something underneath just as Tolle says. 

  In The New Earth, Tolle uses a lot of New Age or Spiritual language that has turned some people off.  Some people have responded with suspicion and attempted to discern exactly what his beliefs are so they could judge whether his message is true. I've run across my share of posts here on Xanga vehemently disagreeing with Tolle and Oprah. 

   - okay that was a sarcastic look of shock. 

  What's fair?  Is it fair to reject the message because you don't like the messenger?  Is it fair to reject the messenger because you don't like the message?  Is it fair to take a few snippets out of context and judge the whole without reading it?  Maybe it all is what it is. 

  I'm making it a point to be gentle with anyone who is revealing the depth of his or her pain-body with harsh and unkind words.  I don't think that Tolle or Oprah would be benefitted if I attempted to defend them.  I'm free to avoid that drama and just be happy. 

  I hope you are being happy today. 

  

   

   

   

  • 5:49 pm
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