September 4, 2007

• Well, that hurt ~

  Cats are tuned into an alternate reality.  It's like dogs hearing very high pitched noises, but with cats its a whole space time continuum thing.  All cats have an assigned location in the universe, like a seating chart.  And if one of them is out of place, stars begin to explode, black holes turn pink, life becomes a mess.  It's a serious responsibility to always be right where you're supposed to be all the time.

  So a cat will be wandering slowly along, or maybe even in a dead sleep, but all of a sudden the message that they are supposed to be in some other place is beamed directly into their brain.  And they are supposed to be there NOW.  So the cat leaps into the air, does a double half gaynor with a right back paw twist and then "pop" it disappears only to "pop" reappear in a new location some 50 feet away.

  Tucker was sitting on the couch with Joe sitting on his lap when one of these reality adjustments occurred. 

  Joe is still more kitten than cat, so he hasn't learned about claws and how claws are a bad thing.  When he leaped into the air, he used his claws for traction right on Tucker's skin.  Ouch.

  Tucker wasn't just hurt, he was sad, confused, and his feelings were hurt too.  "How could he do that Mom.  Doesn't he know I love him?  Why would he scratch me like that?"

  Oh the things we learn from our pets.  In this case, Tucker is learning that sometimes the person who hurt you didn't mean to hurt you.  But the lack of malice doesn't make the hurt any less.  In fact, sometimes it makes it seem worse because isn't hatred and anger easier to understand and take than indifference?  After all if someone is angry they are putting a lot of energy into a reality where you are very very important. 

  But when someone just doesn't notice, or seems not to care that it was your skin being shredded by their claws, that's just bad. 

  As I explained to Tucker, you have to make a choice when that happens.  Hopefully, you can tell the person who hurt you and once you've called their attention to the problem they won't do it again.  Or if you think that it truly was a matter of indifference, that the person doesn't care that you were hurt, you have to decide to limit your exposure to that person.  Yes, I'm counselling my son on how to protect himself even though it's taken me a long long time to learn to be vulnerable.  I can recognize that sometimes we need protection.

  The last two options that some people pick rarely work out well.  If somone hurts you, you may try to change yourself into a different kind of person to motivate that other person to care a little more.  But that's not only convoluted and hard, but you're worthy of care right now.  If you have to contort yourself into some emotional pretzel to avoid injury, well, that's an injury in itself and you're contributing to your own pain.

  Or you may try to change the other person in to someone kinder, gentler, more prudent ... That doesn't work either because then they are on the emotional twister board. 

  I think he got it.  Mostly. 

  "Well, can we just have the vet take Joe's claws off?"

  * * * * * * * * * * * * *

  Tucker has made several cat observations over the past three days.

  "Joe is smart."  (Noting that instead of running to his food bowl, he was eating Gladys food first and then going to his bowl for seconds.)

  "Joe purrs really really loud when you scratch his belly.  I taught him that."

  and my personal favorite:

  "Mom, your cat looks at me like she thinks she's more important than I am."

  • 12:17 pm
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