May 15, 2007

  • First Things First

    How do you prioritize your day?  Your week?  Your life?

    I've been thinking about that because I'm making such huge changes and I'm noticing that no one I've spoken with about it seems surprised by the choices I'm making, except maybe me.  From inside looking out it feels that my life is less determined and more ... fluid than I think it must appear from out there (in tv land?) 

    Or maybe things are just more obvious from a distance. 

    Surprisingly enough to me, employment is way further down on the list of priorities than I would have guessed until I stepped back and looked at what I'm choosing.  The kids come first.  Then well, they are probably second too.  Then there's peace of mind - that trumps a job that creates an ethical dilemma for me.  Then, well, this one doesn't seem as obvious when I think in terms of what I would prefer to do, but in reality my creative time is next.  I don't mind so much putting a job in jeopardy to assure myself time to take care of me and my writing.  Two summers in a row, I took off a week without pay and spent close to 10% of my entire annual income to attend the Iowa Summer Writing Festival.  (The first year, someone else paid my tuition or it would have been a lot more than 10% because my annual income was sadly lacking.)  If money weren't an issue, I'd do it again this year.

    Employment is important.  I like having income.  I like doing something that is purposeful, meaningful.  But if I've learned any particular lesson over the past three years, it's that I'm capable of doing a lot of different things to earn money, and I'm capable of doing them well.  Not perfectly.  I'm not a superstar. 

    (Well, except for where I am now, I'm pretty much a superstar in terms of creating ways to help people get their financial house in order, but the very nature of what I'm doing makes it a rather quiet superstardom.  My boss is in Reader's Digest taking credit, but I'm the one making it happen.  And you know what?  That's a good thing.  I am effective where I am.  And the fact that I know that people's lives are being changed is all the "shine" I need.)

    So it comes back to me thinking about my priorities.  I was working with a client recently who was telling me what her top priorities were, and the whole time she's talking I'm thinking, "Who are you trying to kid here?"  Because her behavior has nothing to do with the things she was telling me.  SO I got her to back up and take a look at her decisions.  The major decisions that have led her to the place that led her to me were made under the influence of specific motivations.  When we went back and said, "Okay, what led you to choose ..... over .....?" We were able to construct a more realistic list of her priorities.

    And that led me to stop and think about my own priorities.  What have I done?  What am I doing now?  What is really important to me?  Am I doing the things that are important?  Or am I doing the things that I think should be important? 

     

     

Comments (6)

  • The kids come first.  Yes. 

    I heard an analogy once, though, that I need to remember.  When on an airplane, should the cabin's pressure change and the oxygen masks pop down, we are to put the masks on ourselves first, then assist our children.  Otherwise, we won't be able to help them at all if we're passed out.  We can't be totally self-sacrificing.  I'm saying this, of course, as a reminder to myself, because I'm in great need of some pampering oxygen.

  • Well, I have shared before the 4 key questions to use to help one set priorities and make decisions.  The first two questions deal with the tangilbles.  1 - tangible effects on you (salary, commute, recreation,. . . ) 2 - tangible effects on others (schools, support group, .. . . .  The other two are intangibles 3. How do I see myself?  I am person who is active in the community, a hermit, a leader, a writer, a preacher, a lover . . . . 4 How do others see me?  My mother always wanted me to be a teacher, or a pleasant person who (smiles a lot).  lol  Cheers

  • You are finding your way. I am so impressed with what you are doing. Then you can help me straighten out my finances. Judi

  • Good post. Straight to the heart of the matter.

  • That's so true that people don't always LIVE what they CLAIM as their priorities or values. It's really important to be honest with yourself first and foremost!

  • bottom line - YOU ARE important. None of it functions, or even matters, without YOU.

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