July 21, 2006
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My Mind is Mush
This week has been incredible. I have taken so many notes, written down so many snippets that I want to incorporate into my writing over the next months and gathered so many new ideas ... I haven't had time to think about any of them hardly at all.
My instructor had great praise and some excellent suggestions for where I might tweak my story. My class applauded.
Cool Mary says (with exasperation) "Your friends tell you that your writing is good WHY don't you believe us?"
I dunno
I truly don't know why I have this panic about my work. My conference with my instructor was scheduled just after lunch today. (Which didn't seem to hurt my appetite so I have some serious repenting to do next week ...) I made it all the way to the classroom before my nerves took over. Then I stood outside the door, too nervous to go in. I had to text my best friend for moral support.
"What was I thinking? This is MY life that is about to be critiqued! I have exposed the utter banality of it all in a way that requires that someone TELL me how awful it is."
I get the reply almost instantly, "Are you KIDDING me?!?"
Mary says I have enough drama and know enough interesting people to coast for years before I would have to do anything else to make my memoir exciting.
In fact, I'm planning how I will organize the next weeks and months. Last year I left Iowa and jumped straight back into my frenetic work schedule. I never really relaxed or made the time I needed for writing. This year, I have already adjusted my mental schedule to include time for using the things I've learned. Oh, and we are already planning what we will take NEXT summer.
First I have to sleep though ...
Saturday I'm driving back to Colorado and that's 12+ hours I can spend with my thoughts, getting a handle on it all. Don't worry if I don't check in for a couple of days.
Comments (6)
Sleep! And know that you must crash through the low self-esteem that would tell you that your writing is not good enough/interesting enough. IT IS!
Keep a pad and pen in the car with you.
Here is your theme, the template of your life for there are many of us who ride below the surface. We need to learn that we do not melt in the light of day. I hope this is not too personal but I have been around you here on Xanga for this past year and as I look back I can sense that you think you have not done enough. (I am not going to post more here now) Just let me say that I hope you find a way to accomplish some of what you want to do in your life.
Yeah, yeah, we know...we're just friends/readers...OUR opinion is suspect. LOL! Good for you, Terri!
I understand the thing about thinking we are not enough. Perhaps you will have the revelation as you are driving and thinking that you really are something special. You really do have something to offer. I'm so proud of you for going to Iowa and studying. That tells me something! Keep going, girl! Someday i'm going to be reading your work.
My class applauded.
Yay! That's fantastic. And a mind is a wonderful thing to mush.
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