July 19, 2006
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Roman a clef
Sigh
Just when I think I'm ready to jump in there and bare all, metaphorically speaking of course, I get a mental image of the look on certain person's faces if they should read my story. My mother comes to mind, then my ex-husband, then there is the 23 year old that Michael will one day be ... (I don't know why I assume this, but I think that Tucker can pretty much handle things, it's Michael I worry about.)
Anyway, so I started writing my story in the workshop. And I'm stalled out. Even leaving out large pieces and fictionalizing others, I can't tell it.
Comments (12)
Oh no, not stalled while at workshop . . . .
So write it protected.
I totally understand.
You can do it!
My father has kept journals all his life. He has his thoughts and reflections going back to what was going on when he and my mom divorced, then his second marriage and that divorce and now his third marriage. He has told me that once he passes away...hopefully not for a very long time...but that then I can have the journals and read all about his life and his notes about me as I have grown up because my life is in there as well. I have asked questions as I have grown older and married myself so as to try and avoid the same decisions my parents had to go through but I know that one day I can read the uncensored version. I will always love my Dad and someday it will be nice to know what really happened.
You don't have to publish it. Or if you do, you don't have to use your real name.
I can relate... lately (as recently as last evening at Wednesday service), I was praying that mistakes made earlier in life would not be realised by those who love me... in case their love is not truly unconditional. sigh
I don't even know why I become concerned with this... I'm told and shown daily that I am loved and that our previous errors are dead and gone and everyone has had those, not only me... I can't even think of what to tell you to help you get past the stalled moment.
Prayers... and lots of hugs...
Deb
I think you can do it. What you told me sounds really good, and I think it is good for you to do. And don't worry about what people think, you aren't writing this to please them, you are writing it to help yourself. Besides, when Michael is 23, I'm sure Tucker will be able to distract him from whatever it is he reads.
I wrote as I think I mentioned to you a memoir piece for college. I got "paid" 6 college credits for it out of a possible 8. To this day I won't allow my mother to read it. She has not asked about it but she knew I was writing it. Let me tell you something Terri. That experience was very liberating. I allowed myself to write and write not holding back. My memories are mine even if they are flawed or mistaken. My life is my own too, never flawed or mistaken it is mine. If you can't write about who you are and where you came from, you probably will not be able to "write" (and live) where you are going in your future either. Like someone said, you don't have to publish it. Terri, don't be ashamed. It is YOUR STORY.
What a shame. I'm sure you could do it. Maybe as fiction?
Mike
No one ever has to see you writing, Go ahead and strip down and dive right in, something within you may be saying it's time to eradicate old guilts and garbage that is preventing you from really blossuming and to be in touch with the universe and your greater creative abilities. If there comes a time for exposure it will unfold it's self to the benifit of all involved. Do not allow yourself at this stage of developement be guided by fear or what others might think. Unto your self be true.......Feel how it feels to be free to fly.......Happy landing....Papa Norm
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