May 1, 2005

• Ugh

  
  

  I've had two days of just pure plain old rotten luck in the waitressing business.  First we had the slowest day of the year except for the day that the blizzard hit and they closed at noon.  Then today, I had customers who apparently are ignorant of the ways and means of restaurant dining. 

  
  

  I don't care if you're not the best tipper.  Really I don't.  I'll provide the same excellent service to everyone and assume that some people are just not in a good financial place or whatever.  But if you sit at my table for over three hours chit chatting and asking me for all kinds of special service and accommodations, I expect you to realize that you have gotten into opportunity cost territory.  The standard for tipping these days is 15%.  But if you take up my table for three hours, then you owe a lot more than that because you've cost me the tip I would have earned if you'd just eaten your lunch and moseyed your cheap self out the door so the next people could sit down and have their lunch.  The people I'm upset with from today tipped me $1.73 on a $26 check.  That's so low as to be an insult. 

  
  

  And frankly I think that there should be a law that says that if you offend your waitress she has the right to stand in the middle of the room, point fingers at you like it was your birthday or something and announce to the world that you obviously need remedial socialization skills training.  To tip so low AND take up my table for three hours (it's the time thing that's really toasting my cheese ...)

  
  

  Well, let me put it this way.  I already didn't feel well today because I'm hormonal.  Okay?  Yes, I'm hormonal.  And I ache.  So now, I'm hormonal, and I ache and I have a huge well of psychic energy to tap because I'm feeling aggrieved on top of it.  I'm planning to spend the next hour of my life curled around a heating pad and sending really bad mojo upon the heads of the people who abused me today.  Because the three hours they sat there gave me more than enough time to memorize their face, their voice, their thinning hair - yeah. - I'm going to start with a visualization of that thin spot on his crown becoming a big shining circle. 

  
  

  And don't be fooled, I'm aware that he was the one who paid and some probably think it isn't fair to include her in the mojo, but I'm going to anyway.  I'm including her because I have NEVER gone out with anyone without being aware of how they took care of the server.  Most of the time that I've been out I've paid my own way, but even when someone else picked up the check it's my habit to at least offer to cover the tip just to make sure it's done.  When my companion has said, "Oh, no, I've got it" I look to SEE whether or not they "got" it.  If I don't think they tipped enough, I'll "forget my jacket" or something and go back to the table to make it right.  SO - yes, I'm planning to burn a candle and chant revenge on her too.  Since I'm hormonal, I'm having no problem thinking of a long list of evil to send upon her head.

  
  

  As a beginning server I only have three tables as my responsibility.  You can imagine what these people did to my bottom line with their thoughtlessness.  Six months ago ... a year ago ... I might not have felt so angry.  I used to have much more of a laissez faire attitude about things.  So what if that person doesn't pay, the next one will and it will all balance.  These days, I look at those people who don't pay for the service they receive and I call them thieves.  It is a theft of my time, my service, and my opportunity when they avail themselves without paying. 

  
  

  Zero tolerance, that's the new policy. 

  
  

  And now if you'll excuse me, there's a heating pad with my name on it. 

  
  

   

  
  

   

  • 7:31 pm
  • 12 Comments