June 18, 2004

• Happy Birthday to Me

  
  

  For most of the past ten years, I haven't had a birthday.  June 18 rolled past on the calendar, but it hasn't been my day.  Ten years ago today, I spent in the hospital, fighting the effects of eclampsia and due to the excessively high blood pressure I was experiencing, my doctor decided to induce labor.  So although he was a little over three weeks early, by mid-afternoon, I got the best birthday present of my life, my son, Michael.  It's kind of hard to top that.  Since today is his birthday as well, and he is the child here, the celebration usually belongs to him. 

  
  

  Last year was the exception to that rule.  We were in Disney World on June 18.  We invited my sister and her kids, my friend Maureen and her daughter, Kate, and had a week long birthday party.  The highlight of that trip (for me) was the night of the 18th when we saw the Cirque du Soleil's La Nouba. 

  
  

  This year is a little different.  I'll be working this afternoon.  After work, I'll stop off and pick up supplies for the party we'll have tomorrow afternoon.  We have enough little cousins to populate two ten year old's parties, so we've invited them all over tomorrow for a cookout.  Michael has requested an ice cream cake, so that will be an interesting thing to pull off in this heat.   

  
  

  Tim and I talked earlier in the week, and he really hated the thought of Michael's birthday happening without him, so he's driving over this afternoon for the weekend.  Michael doesn't know yet that Daddy is coming, but Michael loves surprises, so this is part of the gift. 

  
  

  My sister asked if I didn't resent it that Tim gets to show up and be the big deal when I'm here every day loving the boys and doing the not so glamorous parts of parenting.  I don't resent it.  I knew when we agreed to separate that I would be leaving Indiana so by virtue of the distance between us, Dad's visits or visits to Dad's home would be magnified by their very nature into treats.  And it's right and reasonable that it should be so.  He doesn't get the daily opportunity that I have, so it's good that when the boys see him, he'll be the focus of their attention.

  
  

  I have received some incredible birthday gifts this year.  My friends started back in March showering me with love and presents and saying "this is an early birthday."  I know that part of the reason they labeled it that way is that I have an uncomfortable level of pride (I was really amused that this turned up in the quiltnmomi cocktail from that little generator) and the things they wanted to give me, I would have had a difficult time accepting as gifts "just because."  So they gave me the gifts and they gave me the priceless gift of respecting my sensibilities.

  
  

  I have much to be grateful for this year.  And since my friends arranged to gift me in ways that I can only accept, not repay, I intend to honor their gifts by living this as the best year of my life so far.

  
  

  Happy Birthday to me. 

  
  

   

  • 8:59 am
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