June 17, 2004

• Chocolate Sex*

  
  

  The first person into the bookstore last night pulled me aside to complain about the sex in John Grisham novels.  It's been a couple years since I read one, I don't remember them being all that steamy.  But this woman was offended, and she was telling me about it as though I were John Grisham, or his publisher, or his agent, or anyone else who might have some real input into the content of those books.  That set the tone for the evening. 

  
  

  Everyone who came into the store was talking about sex.  Every customer I assisted brought it up in the conversation in some way or another.  There was the woman looking for Dr. Laura's book on the Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands who explained to me that at her age finding new sexual positions wasn't as much fun as it used to be.  The couple looking for what I first thought was a religious book, (but turned out to be a sex manual written by a minister) were interesting.  They must have owned a copy of it previously, or at least they'd read it because they were all about Chapter Sixing each other.

  
  

  A teacher came in looking for "The Real Mother Goose," I thought that was safe until we were heading up to the register and she started telling me about her job teaching fifth graders - and the sexual sophistication of the average middle-school aged child these days.  She said to me, "People today aren't like us, they wear the most god-awful get-ups!  Thongs!"  (I didn't think that was the time to tell her that *I* was wearing a thong.)

  
  

  The final sale I rang up last night actually took place after the store was closed.  Two young men lingered over their decision to the point that my co-worker was flicking off the lights in a subtle hint.  Then they approached the register, and I realized I was going to have to card them.  Yes, at the Hot Springs Waldenbooks, it's illegal to sell certain materials to minors and there was a question in my mind how old these guys might be.  But they produced State issued ID's proving that they were 20 and 22 years old so they were allowed to purchase copies of the Kama Sutra. 

  
  

  By the time I got home, the whole evening had just taken on a very odd flavor.  And I was hungry.  So I did what any woman would do under those circumstances.  I unwrapped and slowly consumed a cookies and cream chocolate bar.

  
  

  *I'm blaming my strange evening on LMF who commented yesterday that she wanted to hear more about chocolate sex.

  
  

   

  • 3:38 pm
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