May 12, 2004
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Momma Always Said ...
There's something about mothers, right? We don't mean to do it, but our mouths open up and the strangest things come out. I was reading over on Dagonflies' site the tribute to her Mom for Mother's Day, and one of the things she included was a sampling of the "Sayings" her Mom repeated regularly.
My Mom isn't just any old run-of-the-mill garden-variety mom who says things like "always make sure you're wearing clean underwear in case you're in a wreck ..." Actually, I don't know any Mom who actually says that, did yours? No, My Mom says things like:
"If you fly too high, you'll land in a cowpile." I've never understood what it was about height that caused a magnetic attraction to cowpoop - but I'm careful ...
"Poop on your bald head." Come to think of it, poop seems to figure prominently in my Mom's wit.
And my personal favorite, "Happy as a dead pig in the sunshine." You might have to say that one out loud a couple times to really be able to appreciate it. Try it with a heavy Southern accent ... yeah! Like that!
Now that I've typed that last one, I'm drawing a blank which is a shame because Mom is a true bonafide character of the first sort and I'm sure there a dozen more examples that deserve inclusion here. How about I offer you this, if I hear any more of her sayin's run through my mind, I'll amend this blog.
Tucker jsut came through wearing plastic bags on his feet - "What are you doing with the plastic bags?" I asked.
He raised his eyebrow (I don't know where he gets that ... o_0) and said, "Wearing them."
Earlier I heard him calling his brother, "Michael, come here, the cat wants to play with us... quick, shut the door before she gets out."
And just after school, I found him standing on the kitchen counter, "Tucker, please get down before you fall and break your arm!"
"Don't worry, Mom, I'm a good bouncer."
Comments (14)
LOL. Mothers are always so wise. It's a pity I didn't realise it until I left home and had children of my own. My mother and grandmother always used to say, "Take care of the corners and the middle will take care of itself."
"Happy as a dead pig in the sunshine." Heh. That was fun to say with a Southern accent!
My mom's favorite saying was "Let's make like shit and hit the trail." She always laughed after saying it, too. I dunno what it is about the poop sayings.
Thanks for a good laugh. Between your mom's words of wisdom and the antics of Tucker you've brought a big smile to my face. Keep them coming...
My own kids have been cracking me up lately. I'm too aquarian absent minded to recall them though. Too bad, 'cause kids can say the funniest things!
My mom never told me to wear clean underwear, but my grandma always did.
Hey, I just saw your new "look" for the first time - verrrry nice! Perfect for summer.
my mom's were/are:
happy as a possum eating shit
and
happy as a pig in shit.
of course, my room was a shit pit.
suppose all moms are related?
I think my mom did say the underwear in the car wreck one... or maybe it's just an urban myth.
cats just *love* kids, don't they
Our cat hisses at our toddler, but she still calls him "kitty baby" - as in, "come here, kitty baby, get your diaper on!"
Mom used the underwear one, but managed to turn it around to her..."and they'll wonder what kind of mother you have!"
Lots of excrement humor, too: "Money talks, s--- walks"; "The crow s--- you on the fence and the sun hatched you out" (to answer where I came from); "Like s--- through a hired girl" And her current favorite, "S--- happens!"
Dad used to get into the act too, "S--- the bed Martha!" was his favorite expletive.
My Mother taught me it was better to remain silent and thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt. Have you read RobbieKay's xanga site? She is in Israel and sends interesting journals each day. Thinking of you.
better he be a good bouncer now, than when he's in his 20s?
Priceless.
Mike
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