March 8, 2004
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Lucky
The car turns round the entrance ramp
the phrase turns round my mind
"Lucky as a four leaf clover"
inside we sit, the four of us
each involved with our private thoughts
music, games, sounds through four
pairs of headphones that push our
own worlds in on us and keep the
others out, we barely touch
that was last November.
Now we pack up the furniture,
the dishes, the books, the towels,
some to his place, some to mine
and our friends say, "You're lucky ..."
because we don't have angry fights
we don't have bitter words, we smile
and say, "Here, let me help you ..."
but clipping that fragile connecting thread
put tears on the face of our kids,
lucky, as a four leaf clover pulled apart.
Terri Verrette, March 2004
Becoming separated - divorced, there are moments that stand out. Today, we took our kids to Louisville; it was their first opportunity to see their Dad's new apartment. He has a nice place. Michael thought the pool was a little small, Tucker made sure he said again that he'll visit Dad, but he isn't going to stay with Dad. At Garden Ridge we found a print for the wall, and at Ashley Furniture we found a dining table, well made.
My sister says that it's the "firsts" that are hard. The first night you sleep alone, the first day you begin the move, the first time you do any of the things you used to do together all by yourself.
The moment that stands out to me as the hardest I've lived so far was when I held the pen to sign the documents with the name I took fifteen years ago. That seemed so wrong. Verrette and Verrette. It should have been some other name. We signed separate names on our marriage license, Verrette and Chenault, but the same name on our divorce. Two separate people got married, but one single family got divorced?
Michael is sick tonight. He's been saying for a couple days that he didn't feel well, tonight, he started throwing up. Like a well-adjusted kid, his first sentence after getting sick was, "This means I don't have to go to school tomorrow, right?" So I'm sitting up with my sick child, washing his face, holding his hand, and feeling a bit sick myself. I always feel sick when the kids get sick, sympathy pains, I guess.
Comments (26)
I hope Michael gets well soon. I'd be able to say a lot about how maturely I think you all are handling this...and how well you've taken steps to make sure things go as smoothly as possible. But I hardly think 'lucky' is a word I'd use...{{{Hugs}}}
Hope your son feels better soon. Watch out for the illness in the kids, it could be a sign of stress, my kids have been sick a lot since their Dad moved out.
Tomorrow we go in to court to go over the final decree. I've heard that word "lucky" too, and it annoys me as well. It isn't luck, it's a choice we've made to get along for our children.
I get those sympathy pains too
Divorce...it is hard on kids...no matter what....but has a way of working out if the lines of communication are open.
I think you are handling this with grace. *hugs*. I hope Michael is feeling better. And Momi, too.
lucky as a four leaf clover pulled apart.....that pierced my heart!
Oh, and I have sympathy pains for you. HUGS.
Bittersweet poem - and a great image with the headphones.
My thoughts are with you and the kids.
It definitely does sound like you're handling one of the most difficult situations with grace. Peace to you.
Stress is evil.
Sail on... sail on!!!
Very lovely poem.
I've wondered, sometimes, about names. One "well" divorced woman I know still bears her estranged husband's name, several decades later. Hard to let go of it, I should imagine. An appellation one has earned, I should think.
May all the first meet you all gently, very gently.
P.S. "Here, let me help you" is a biggie around our house too -- often not meaning what it says.
Stress IS evil, just as Dread said.
That was very good. Sad, but good.
Gosh, it sounds horrendous, but as Ophelia said, you're clearly handling this with a great deal of grace and, it seems, honesty too. Just keep going for now, don't ask anything else of yourself. Lots of people are thinking of you!
I'm sad to hear one of them saying such things about just visiting his dad--on a few levels. I hope you are taking care of you as well as you take care of the chirren. smooch.
*holds your hand*
you're gonna be okay. there are many firsts ahead of you ...... many still ahead of me. i handle them the best i can and be sure that i only cry when i am alone. for some reason i am convinced that if nobody actually SEES me cry then maybe it doesn't hurt quite as much. i will be very glad when you get here ...... i think it will be easier to handle the rest of the firsts if there is someone else here who truly understands.
Hugz- I liked the poem.
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