January 12, 2004
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Taking Care of Momi
I'll warn you now - this is a sentimental post so if you're in a cynical mood and wish to preserve it, you might want to skip Q-momi today.
One of the things that has surprised me most about my sons is how much they want to take care of me. I will confess that I have had certain stereotypes of what male children are like and at every stage my kids challenge me to rethink, and revise my narrow views. I grew up with "girl" toys, playing with dolls and doing the streotypical female child thing, where I role-played being a Mom. I thought it was the girl's job to nurture and the boy's job to make loud noises with cars. (My kids DO make machine noises as they play.) But they are also very nurturing of themselves, each other and of me.
I'm not feeling well today. I had a bit of headache and sore throat last night so I took some cold/flu medicine that pretty well knocked me out. This morning I didn't want to take that stuff so I took something different that didn't make me drowsy, but also didn't do much for alleviating my symptoms. So I have a terrible headache and cough in addition to congestion and sore throat. The boys of my stereotypal expectations would not have noticed. But my kids did.
Michael's teacher stopped to talk with me as she was delivering the kids to their parents after school. "How are you feeling?"
I was a bit surprised because she's usually in a hurry and never initiates a conversation. I gave her the polite response, "Fine, thank you, and yourself?"
But she pressed me, "No, seriously, are you feeling better?" Now I was really taken aback.
I answered her more honestly. "I've felt better, I'm afraid I'm catching something nasty."
She nodded. "Michael has been very worried about you today. He told me at least three times that he was planning to cook dinner tonight so you could rest. Does he really do that?"
Yes, Michael really does that kind of thing. He had his menu all worked out and told me on the way home that as soon as we got here, he wanted me to lie down and not worry about him and Tucker. He said that he had already finished his homework because he knew that he would need to be done with it if he was going to make dinner.
Okay, I had a phone conversation with a friend in which I said that I was thinking I'd let Michael take over dinner tonight because I know he likes to cook and he hasn't had much chance recently. But to hear from my son that he had already thought about this and planned to do it ... I was amazed, and touched. He's nine! My expectation is that he should be concerned with childish - boyish things, Yu-Gi-Oh, hot wheels and the like. I am not ashamed to admit that it made me tear up a little to realize how much he had worried about me today. I asked him why he was so concerned. I mean yes, I don't feel well, but I don't have anything really serious, it's just probably a cold. He told me that he knew last night when I didn't finish my dinner that I was really sick because he had noticed that I didn't eat lunch and I should have been hungry. Come on, tell me ... is this normal? Do other kids pay that close attention to their Moms?
It wasn't just Michael. Tucker drew me a special picture today to cheer me up. And speaking of Tucker - he made first grade SuperStar today. He was thrilled, I'm thrilled. His teacher was thrilled. We all did a little happy dance for my baby who is trying really really hard to get this school thing. But I didn't need to see the sticker to know that Tucker AND Michael are SuperStar kids. I don't know everything that will happen to us over the next year. But I know that we are all going to take care of each other, and it's gonna be all right.
Comments (30)
Awwww!!! Those are good kids!!! Hope you feel better soon...that bug is nasty if it is the same one I had.
You are a blessed woman to have sons who love you so much. When you talk about them, it reminds me of my little brother (who's nine as well). He's a boy's boy. He loves his video games, dinosaur toys, and playing with cars. But beyond that, he's a sweet, loving, cute little boy who has a heart of gold. I don't take him for granted, because I know there aren't many like him in the world (if any, actually). So, sure, your boys, and my brother aren't grown men, but it just goes to prove that there are males out there that are perfectly wonderful.
I really hope you start feeling better. I know there is nothing fun about being sick. Thoughts of wellness are being sent from me to you, at this very moment. -Kate
That speaks to our parenting skills, doesn't it? To raise nurturing males?
Nick astonished me last night and this morning as well...similar, yet different situation, but there he was, strong and calm at Mom's side, trying to deflect some of the airborne dung.
They amaze me. As do you.
You have done well shaping them. They obviously loev you very much. You all will be just fine.
It's always cool to hear stories like this -- give me hope for the next generation.
That is so sweet. My son did take care of me many times when he was younger. When I went through a bout of severe depression, he didn't ask questions or complain about me not cooking, he just did it for me and my daughter. I was so weak it hurt to carry a cup. He was about 9. And then there were those times when he was in his own little world. But, I'd have to say that he was more attentive then a lot of boys his age.
I hope you feel better.
Oh my goodness *sniff* That is beautiful! You are one lucky momi!!
Yes, I think boys are more attentive towards their moms than girls, but both of my kids have been very good to me...protective, really. I think when families start going through hard times, its natural for the kids to want to help mom (and each other) I will note, however, that they are not being as nice to their dad LOL
How wonderful! What a lovely thought, to know that the boys are taking care of you!
Enjoy dinner and feel better.
(Yea for Tucker! and double Yea for Michael)
that is the very best kind of love.
That is so sweet!!! Kids can really make you smile. Hope you feel better I have had that nasty stuff since Thanksgiving... Lauren and her little friend made me and Thad breakfast in bed a couple of weeks ago.. A bed of lettuce, black olives, cereal, sugar, and I believe some rotten carrots... It was so sweet and of course we pretended to eat it but I think it is so cute to see what kids will come up with...
Yeah, I know what you mean. I only had a brother when I grew up, so didn't really know how little girls were. Now our girl Sara keeps shattering my sterotypes too. And it is a very good thing.
We spend so much time thinking of our children as children that we are surprised when sometimes they behave with the maturity and forethought of adults. They are not always as self-centered and incapable as we take for granted in this culture. How sweet! Hope you feel better soon.
What great boys you are bringing up!! Hope you feel better soon!
Kids model from whichever parent they identify with strongly... usually some of both. You're obviously a strong nurturing example!
What a pair of great sons you have.
Mike
(you have elvish on your banner! love it!)
I had read that before the industrial age, that culturally men were regarded as the primary nurturer in the family. Us girls have definitely learned about it from my husband (he has his flaws, but that ain't one of 'em!)
That is SO sweet of your sons. Children learn most what they see modeled, I believe!
Some day you will have a DIL who will Adore you because you have laid the groundwork for a man of great character and consideration. Blessings.
so sweet..and I love this new background too!
Children have the uncanny ability to do things to make us feel like a million dollars dont they???
Just be blessed in the fact that you have rasied a child that is a nurturer and not one that doesnt give a fig about what is going on around him....
be blessed. I also hope you are feeling better too.
Tina
Ok I am crying because I can really relate to this right now. I honestly think only the special children do these things. The special children that have mommies that love them and show them that love unconditionally, under any and all circumstance. Those are the children that think of these things.
You should be proud, very very proud!
Better let Michael cook... If I came over to fix dinner it would be Yu-Gi-Oh cereal and OJ!
HA!
Sail on... sail on!!!
What loving children you have
Skip such a wonderful blog? I would be ashamed of myself if I had.
That is truly touching. Kids really are a lot wiser than we give them credit for. But it takes a special and very sensitive kind of boy to realize his mom need some extra TLC.
when children are cherished by thier family...they return that 3 fold...so it is perfectly normal....and your future dil will love you for it.
Thats good. I'm glad my son isn't the only one. He'll load the washing machine, the dryer and do the dishes (he's only 6 almost 7). He puts the soap, fabric softener and dryer sheet in. He wants to do so what do you do. He evens like to cook. I think this child isn't normal but thats ok cause when he gets older he can take care of himself. My sister-in-law was watching him overnight and when i picked him up. She said Nellie he isn't normal and i said why (i knew what was coming). She said he folded cloths, loaded the machines ect. Does he do this all the time? and I said yes. She said i told him go and play and he wouldn't. Its funny and its ok. I'm glad he isn't the only one. Sorry so windy. Take care, hope you get to feeling better and you've got great kids. Hope you all have a great year.
You are blessed with good boys who love their Mommy!
Great kids and a fantastic husband... you are one lucky woman!
What sweethearts!
I truly believe that male children are born with every bit as much nurturing capacity (and the desire to nurture) as any female child. My son, from the time he was very small, was a nurturer. Unfortunately, most of them have it scorned, beaten, drilled, sucked out of them by the time they are over five years old. It takes a very close bond with the mother, I believe, to preserve it. That also is driven out of most of them by the time they're prepubescent.
You're blessed with very special children. But then, how could they be otherwise, with you as their mother?
T
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