November 13, 2003

• Not that I pay attention to such things ---- but although 4 people subbed to me this week, I have 10 fewer subscribers than I had a week ago.  Was it something I said?  o_0

  
  

  Friends

  
  

  I'm feeling better today.  You know I have fantastic friends.  I mean really, I do.  I had another friend call me yesterday, one I haven't spoken to in six months.  But she had me on her mind, so she decided to call and we wound up talking, laughing, crying - for over two hours.  Martha is 21 years older than I am but she has always seemed more like my peer than my elder.  When I lived near her (in Minnesota) she and I used to take my kids to the park, we went to arts festivals, worked together on church projects, and we sometimes sang duets.  Martha is over six feet tall and I'm barely five feet, so we were quite the mis-matched pair.  But we called each other Girlfriend and had a blast together. 

  
  

  Martha's husband is a retired airline pilot and they have flying privileges for life that are to die for.  I swear, she can fly to Paris for less than I pay to take my kids to McDonalds.  So she reminded me, again, that if ever I need her or just feel lonely for an old friend, she can be here in a few hours, no questions asked. 

  
  

  I've written about my friends many times.  I look around and I know that I have been unusually blessed.  I've mentioned (at least I think I've mentioned, if I forgot I hope it's not a shock ...) anyway, I've mentioned that I've been seeing a therapist.  Working on some life issues.  My therapist made a statement that I thought was shocking at the time.  She told me that it was her belief that my friends have saved my life.  Think about that for a second and see if it doesn't sound even more drastic than on first hearing. 

  
  

  None of my friends live nearby.  I think that one of my newest friends, Faith, is closer in miles than anyone else and she lives about 5 1/2 hours away.  So I don't get to pick up the phone and say, "hey, you wanna get together for lunch?"  Since I moved to Indiana, I've felt very much removed from people.  I live out in the middle of nowhere and although I've participated with various different organizations, clubs, and groups I haven't connected with anyone in the area.  I'm not having a pity party here, I'm not asking you to feel sorry for me, I'm just explaining why it was that the therapist came to make the statement she did.  I have as strong a need for human connection as anyone, and maybe even stronger than some people.  One of the things that brought me to Xanga and then kept me writing here is the way the blogging community gives me a connection to the world of adult conversation and ideas. 

  
  

  I miss my friends.  If I'd been making a prediction about what would happen when we moved away from Minnesota, I would have expected that I'd hear from them occassionally, Christmas and Birthday cards.  But that our lives would become gradually separate and I'd become the rare thought or mention in conversation, "remember when Terri was here and we ..."  It hasn't worked out that way at all. 

  
  

  Maureen and her daughter Kate were able to join us for vacation in Florida this summer.  Martha calls me.  Sandy has visited me twice.  In the past 2 1/2 years, my friend Mary and I have gotten together four times.  I've seen Faith and Natasha three times.  And all this in spite of the fact that I've literally spent months away from home helping my mother in Arkansas.  Which reminds me that at one point, Martha and Bill visited me there as they were traveling to Texas.  I have been held tight in the grasp of a group of incredible people who love and support me.

  
  

  In a discussion of the possibility of grace, I responded to the statement that even friendship is earned.  One of the ways that I have come to understand grace is through my friends.  I'm aware that every one of them choose to extend me friendship far beyond anything that I could ever have earned, they don't owe me friendship or love.  They choose to give it.  Isn't that amazing? 

  
  

  To my real life friends, my Xanga friends, and even my friends who'd just as soon not believe in grace ... thank you.  Whether or not it's true as my therapist believes, that you have saved my life, you have certainly enriched my life.  I would not be the person I am without you. 

  
  

  DeCluttering

  
  

  My affirmation for today:  I let go of things that are no longer useful.  The card says, "Use this affirmation when you are resisting letting go of outmoded ways of thinking and acting, and people who are taking advantage of your time, energy, and other resources.  If you want new people places, things, situations, and ideas to come to you, you must make room for them in your life.  Then enjoy your new freedom and know that exciting things await you.

  
  

  I've been decluttering aroudn my house.  I wish I'd taken before and after photos of all the rooms I've been working on - but I didn't.  I do have a couple I can show you ...

  
  

  This is my new "office" arrangement where I write my Xanga blogs.    Note the cool bookshelf that I got from Staples.  (And Dan - if you see this, the books on that shelf are the Great Books that we talked about.) 

  
  

  

  
  

  This is the before picture of the corner of my reading nook ...

  
  

  

  
  

  And this is what it looks like after I cleaned out about half the stuff ...

  
  

  

  
  

   

  • 3:45 pm
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