September 4, 2002
-
Good Morning -
It is a good morning here. We had a brief rain last night. Not enough to even really water the flowers, but hey, every little bit helps. Tim left with the boys for fun time with Daddy as soon as dinner was over. I slept.
Every life has a certain amount of grief and pain. Your life has sorrow, and so has mine. At one time I used to tell myself that "other people have more / bigger / more unbearable sorrows than I do." I persuaded myself to "rise above" and "move on" instead of acknowledging the sorrows and pains that are mine alone to carry.
Funny thing about pain and grief. You can deny it for a time, but not forever. On Monday night I was visited by an old grief. In my dreams I relived the sense of helplessness, loss, and anger that accompanied the original event. Yesterday, I was a crushed person. I went through my day in a daze. Bewildered by the sheer weight of sorrow on my shoulders.
In the Bible there is an incident in which the prophet Elijah reaches a place of such sorrow that he cries out to the Lord for his life to end. Instead of ending his life, God sends him rest. Elijah sleeps and sleeps. The the Lord wakes him, feeds him, gives him clear water to drink - and puts him back to sleep.
I've noticed that this remedy works very well for me as well. When sorrow crushes and griefs cannot be outrun, I must stop and face them. I must drink the full cup to the last sip. Then, because grieving is hard work, I need to rest.
Tim knows me. He knows me well, and he loves me. So last night, he gave me time to sleep. He may not be God, but sometimes his methods are similar.
Today, I woke to a good day. My sorrows have returned to their home in my memory where I can nod to them occasionally and they are content. They know that I'm not denying them, not pretending that they aren't there. My life moves on, but they are a part of my life, and cannot be left behind.
Comments (13)
Glad you are doing better today!
May you get the strength you need to go through it...the fire refines and purifies but it can sure cause pain. Spot
Hurray for Tim! I hope you have a wonderful day today
(((Terri))) Hubby may not *be* God, but God sure can use him to reach you! Though life does have pain, isn't it comforting to be reminded day after day of His tender care?
It is interesting how the past can haunt us at times....I love sleeping....
ahh, I was going to suggest Oreos, but it would seem that sleep is much more appropriate and calorie efficient. Big hugs to you, terri baby, in your darker hours.
I find that the more you delve about in the past...the more it takes its roots in the present - it is best, I find, to try and live in the present...but sometimes you cannot live like that. (I sometimes get vivid dreams from my past...and I live them all day long, like I have just stepped into a time warp.)
The mind is powerful...
Still no rain here *SIGH*
(((((
)))))
I am glad that yesterday you woke up with the memory once again a memory. I find sleeping helps too. (((((Terri)))))
God Bless - Dale
I got some crushing, disappointing news today. Maybe that's what I need, rest.
Faith
Comments are closed.