August 13, 2002
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The Blank Box -
I'm sitting here looking at the blank box of my x-tools. It's just a box. It's white pixels surrounded by gray pixels with a bit of the Quiltnmomi graphic eeking in around the right edge. There is NOTHING scary about a blank box. Except that it's blank.
I can't grab a photo out of my digital camera and attach a cute anectdote about the latest incident involving my ever helpful son. Not because he passed up the opportunity to cut a big chunk of fuzz out of the poodle's tail . . . but because my camera is refusing to play nicely with my computer these days. So instead of relying on the cheap and easy funny-kid-story - I'm sitting here with the realization that I'm going to actually have to write something.
I started my Xanga site because I like to write. I don't just like it, I do it whether I mean to or not. I write paragraphs instead of grocery lists. I write in my scrapbooks. I write letters to my husband when he's in the same ROOM with me. I send cards to my sister even when though I talk to her almost daily on the phone. I write.
I write because I can't organize my thoughts any other way. I have to put them down and look at them. I have to rework that sentence until it says just what I want it to mean. I write on Xanga because you guys talk to me about my ideas. Sometimes you tell me you think I'm funny, clever, spiritual or wise. Occasionally, (when you are in a particularly bad mood) you tell me that I'm wrong, smart-alecky, or pigheaded. I write here because I love that instant feedback.
Lately, I've gotten lazy. I've been slowly coming back to Xanga after almost two months of just checking in every now and then between vacation and trips to see family. In addition to the family photo thing, I've been doing book reviews. But, it's been a long time since I expressed anything like a thought of my own. I haven't risked being wrong, smart-alecky or pig-headed.
So although there is a chance that it will give Fugitive a headache. I think that the only way to defeat this battle I'm having with the blank box is to write. Write paragraphs. Comminucate ideas. Risk offending someone. Because summer is almost over. It's time for the brisk Fall breeze to blow through and wake up the sleeping neurons. It's time to come out from behind the "What I did on Summer vacation" essay. It's time to fill the blank box.
Comments (28)
You always make it seem so effortless! I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who sometimes sees that black box and feel a clench in my stomach.
What will I write that will not offend? What can I write that will inspire? What do I feel, and how do I express it?
I've missed you. Write, woman. Write. My eyes ache to read it.
I'm offended by your cavalier attitude towards offending others. And I'm writing a letter to the "What I Did On My Summer Vacation" Guild asking that you be publicly censured for your malicious abuse of this highly respected and ancient form of expression. I would boycott your site altogether, but someone needs to keep an eye on your wicked subversiveness.
Give it to us straight, Doctor, we can take it.
lol @ dwaber (damn, he's been giving good comment lately--back with a vengeance, ain't he?
)
Terri my dear, I can relate so well. Often during this summer I have wondered if my Xanga well had finally crusted over and flaked away altogether. I'd go and look at blogs I wrote months ago and wonder where that muse has gotten to... and thing is, I'm different. Writing reflects who we are, when we are, so Xanga should be no exception. I'm trying to cut out the gibberish and write some quality stuff... bahhahahaa! Ok, seriously.....
Oh no. You gonna make me do more of that icky thinking stuff aren't you?
Good.
Risk offending someone, Risk offending someone, Risk offending someone....
as we...
Sail on... sail on!!!!
Oh, I dread that essay...!
I love your writing, the way you think - but I'm still on vacation, not ready to ponder issues or do much of anything beyond enjoy the sun. If I'm not commenting much it's because I'm going to sweeze the last few delicious drops out of this wonderous time called summer.
sounds like a great idea! i havent been round much either, im sure there will be more time in the not to distant future
You bring up a very good point... over the past months I have been very anti-xanga. Not just the flames and annoyances but I have been thinking of it as work instead of play. Today was the first time I realized I was playing - silly and goofy but fun. So, Perhaps that fall breeze will whisk in some box filling material!! I look forward to yours!!
My muse is on vacation too...I hate posting 'empty' blogs just to get comments/eprops so I end up not posting at all...my muse drops by about once a week these days and gives me some inspiration, otherwise, I just read and comment on my SIR list....what's a mom to do?
Spot
Nice job.
Didn't you just love those what I did over the summer essays? Welcome back Terri, I've missed your writing.
on the edge of my seat.....you have my full attention! :+)
I know a good writer when I see one--I don't think I could write six paragraphs on a blank box and make it interesting. You go girl!
This is a good blog. I like to write at Xanga too. I joined because it gave me a different writing outlet than what I'm used to.
Dinosaurs & methane? LOLOL!
Hmm, but we'll never really know what happened to them, will we?
Faith
You are always writing the most incredible blogs. Look at mine – they are just babble about useless stuff! I learn when I come to your site!! J
LOL I'm with sister!!!
Hey! Look at this! My box is blank too. No, wait, now it's not. It's filling with meaningless ramblings. Ooooh I hate it when that happens.
Ok - I am glad I came to read it. This is good.
BTW - I think it is time to change the fruit. I am working on a new idea for you ......
God Bless - Dale
I think this blog is a good start to get back into the swing of things again...
I write for all the reasons you do, plus more...I can't seem to help it....don't get as many comments as you do ....does this mean I am boring?????
The blank box defeats me a lot of the time. My version of the cheap-and-easy blog is usually to post online quiz results.
You do write well. Stubbling across your journal today was quite a treat as I suffer from a little writer's block of my own.
P.S. I love the pond - I hope the fish didn't get too clean!
I look forward to reading what you write!!
hey~! ur sis sent me over to look at your site. its kewl~!!
not lazy - just busy.
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