May 8, 2002
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It Isn't Paranoia
It isn't paranoia if you have reason to be concerned. I woke this morning to booming thunder and the rattle of heavy rain against my window. So instead of wandering in to ht ecomputer for some early morning surfing, I dashed in to unplug it from the wall AND the phone line. My Dad just lost his modem to a lightning strike, and it's only been a couple years since his entire computer was fried in a similar incident. I'm learning from his experience.
The kids are getting along fine without the tv and video games, but I am old and set in my ways. If I had to live without my Internet, I'd be cranky and unloveable.
That got me thinking about the other things in my life I'm reasonably cautious about.
Needles. I'm okay with the needles I use for sewing and quilting. But, a needle with a hollow core that enables a chemical compound to be injected beneath my skin . . . I want no part of that. Not only could the needle break (which whould cause a tiny projectile to hurtle through my system and make my heart explode,) but how do you really know that the stuff they are injecting is what they think it is?
Snakes.
Overdraft notices.
Telephone salespeople.
Evangelical Flatlanders.
Dentists.
Notice how all these things are related to hypodermic needles? Snakes come equipped with natural needles they use to inject their victims. Overdraft notices are simply informing you that the projectile has reached your financial heart and caused a meltdown. Telephone salespeople work to get beneath your skin and undermine your resistance to temptation. Flatlanders are the human equivalent of those unknown chemical compounds, they base their whole reality on a tiny portion of reality and they attempt to alter other's views through the export of their flat little justifications. Dentists . . . <shudder>
Comments (29)
Good Blog Quitled... I never thought of things like that. But your right.
*Hears the Searchers (or the Ramones!) doing 'Needles & Pins'.....or the Kinks singing 'paranoia/will destroy you'*........
Evangelical Flatlanders
Outstanding! I think I have a new phobia... 
And I can picture each and everyone of the entities you stipulated above also selling Snake Oil!
Yep, I see the connection. Yikes. I don't mind the dentist though. I'm so used to it that I fall asleep there.
I am afraid of log trucks. You never know when the logs that they are hauling might come undone and roll off onto the top of your car. **shudder**
LOL
Ugh... I have this thing about anything piercing my skin... but funnily enough, I did ok when I got my tattoo.... shots hurt more in my opinion
as for telephone salesmen.. I use Seinfeld's approach... agree and hang up 
Can you identify a small dark brown spider with yellow markings along its legs? (We have had one in our house this week.) It's one of those creepy ones, who crawl about extremely slowly.
good grief, I'm going to need a Rolaid after reading this.... I'm very fragile here, geez!
(verrry nice, pulling that all together)
I love the "flatlanders". What a great term.
I mostly just find them comical though. And sad.
Snakes are more afraid of me than I am of them. Telemarketers would be too, if they had any sense.
Dentists...? Reminds me of an old joke:
A man walks into the dentists office and sits down in the big chair. The dentist arrives and is shocked when the patient grabs him by the balls. The patient looks up calmly and says "Let's not hurt each other, okay?"
Be careful...they bite!
I hate needles of all kinds. As for the lightning, I finally purchased a real surge suppressor (as opposed to those cheap things you get at the Whatever-Mart) with battery back-up. The company provides insurance and if the power goes off while we are on the computer we have about 15 minutes to shut it down ourselves.
God Bless - Dale
Dentists...The shrill whirring of a drill and the smell of antiseptic...ouch!!!
I just loved this post!!!
Now that was an great comparison! Whew...my head is reeling...
Dentists don't bother me nearly as much as the thought that my mind's slipping and soon I won't even be able to finish a
I wasn't bitten...but I nearly was. (Those spiders really do bite - so be careful.) I was trying to indentify them - but with no luck...I've emailed the description to a place in Indy that might help, though. (Everytime I've got near one, it makes my skin itch for hours!)
re: your comment on my latest blog -
I really love Jane Feather's writing, she is excellent! I'm on the the last Bride book now. Glad you got the books back ok.
As for all this rain and the one-right-after-another storms - if complaining about it is conjuring it up, yes, then I plead guilty because that's all I've been doing! LOL I just wish we could get into a settled weather pattern and stay there for longer than 5 minutes!
Not paranoia. Just a little cranky. Hope this afternoon is more UP. zera hee! hee!
Thank you Belkin for the Surge Master II. We would have completely fried our computer last summer if it weren't for the surge protector.
BTW, if you care to read it, here's my account of lightening and the surge protector.
YIKes! Have a good day anyway! @-}-}--
My word, you got on the creepy kick, didn't you.
Dentists should all die, by the way.
You don't like pointy and hollow. Interesting. I know a few people who have heads that are like that. I'll try and steer 'em clear of you.
But, did you never wonder that half the fun of hollow needles is that you don't know what they are injecting you with? Who knows, maybe someday you will go the dentist, get what you think is a painkiller shot, and see God. Or a telemarketer, some of them think they are gods.
This is my first time to read one of your blogs. You are a funny, entertaining writer. Thanks.
Remember: Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that their not out to get you.
Steve
Gosh I'm glad you set me straight right from the start, otherwise I might just have thought you are p...., no you're right these are real, bizarre, but real.
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