February 23, 2002
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Dark night of the soul
O guiding night!
O night more lovely than the dawn!
O night that has united
The Lover with His beloved,
Transforming the beloved in her Lover.
St. John of the Cross
What does the dark night of the soul feel like? According to St. John, it doesn't feel like anything. It is a place where all sensation dissipates. All physical, emotional, psychological, and even spiritual senses are silenced. No one can enter the dark night with you. It is the place of utter existential aloneness.
Although we live in a day and place that supposedly exhults in individuality, have you ever noticed to what extent we will go to avoid being alone? We fill our day with sights and sounds. We want people, voices, and sensation in a constant flow of stimulation. Clatter, noise, and distraction are such a way of life that we cannot even stand to be enclosed for a few moments in an elevator without that horrible muzak. We will run, fight, hide ourselves in the crowd, anything to escape that waiting void.
Where does that leave us when there is no place to hide, no noise to distract us, no sensation that can penetrate that dark night? What do we do when we have only ourself? The person unused or unprepared for solitude can be trapped by arrogance, self-absorption, or depression. Separation, loneliness, and silence become terrifying monsters looming over us with sharp talons and impenetrable scales forcing us to face our own emptiness.
Some of the greatest leaders of our wisdom traditions have written of this dark night. Faith grants no immunity from confinement in the still cave of the heart. But, faith can calm our fear. If we can but recognize that this place of crisis and disorientation is not a prison, but an open door. Through nothingness, we can emerge like Jesus after his forty days in the desert, like Buddha who woke up under the banyan tree, or Moses who saw a fire that did not consume.
Deitrich Bonhoeffer wrote, "Let him who cannot be alone beware of community...Let him who is not in community beware of being alone...Each by itself has profound pitfalls and perils. One who wants fellowship without solitude plunges into the void of words and feelings, and one who seeks solitude without fellowship perishes in the abyss of vanity, self-infatuation, and despair."
Mystics and sages have long practiced the Discipline of Solitude - not so that they could avoid the contamination of human temptations and relationship, but so that they could bring to their community wholeness and strength.
"What is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill? Seek him always with hours to live. For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness." Kahlil Gibran
Comments (14)
I've read this 3 times now and I just don't have a comment. It's left me with a feeling I'm not sure I can explain. You've done an excellent post and really made me think.
I just came from Mary's site and I want to see the "30 something list" you did about me!!!
this idea of existential aloness is so...scary.
but i do not mind being alone, sorting thoughts, taking stock of who you are, knowing who you really miss.
i recommend some moment of silence and solitude everday (hey you can practice over-the counter meditation, or for fervent people, a time for prayer).
it recharges the soul. sometimes, it makes you appreciate the noise.
I think I am the only person who likes to be alone? I relish it, crave it, want it far more than I can ever get. I truly aspire to be a hermit. I have to FORCE myself to be here in places like Xanga to participate in life on any level. EVERY SINGLE day is a challenge for me to do just that.
But it is like exercise do it long enough you get used to it. I dunno I read things like this and it blows my mind because I just don't get it. Give me meditation and time by myself ANYDAY. Damn I sound awful huh. LOL
Sigh I dunno I think people hurt me to much, I feel to deeply. I'd rather be alone.
An excellent post.
I'm probably not done with this topic yet. I've been thinking about it now for over a week - reading the thoughts of the great mystics on Solitude and Silence. There are ideas from Thomas a Kempis, Teresa of Avila, much, much more from Deitrich Bonhoeffer and others. I'm so full of ideas that I'm literally running over - so if the spillage makes sense - it's almost a surprise to me.
Yes, solitude is an essential for recharging, for listening and yes, for the nothingness of the dark night of the soul. But at some point we need to force ourselves if need be to be a part of community. If indeed humankind was given dominion, then the responsibility to seek and care for others, for the earth is a command. I hope this is making sense to you as I don't feel I'm explaining it well.
Damn!! You're a smart woman!! Funny I've been blogging about this too. Just not as smartly (word??) as you.
I try to balance the two, but sometimes my marriage pays the price for the loss in solitude.
Very good. But what if the dark night of the soul is even deeper than that? What if there is the spiritual place that the soul itself must pass through alone without the conscious mind or ties to the body in order to face the LIGHT and perhaps even beyong the Light? Love to you. zera
hi, I recently posted a poem on my site that I wrote awhile back, an acrostic, called Solitude. I don't know if you read it or not...plus there is a quote by the poet May Sarton, if you are interested. I personally love solitude...obviously I don't live totally that way but I treasure those times alone....to reflect and dream....enjoy who I am...I think it must make a difference if solitude is sought for positive or negative reasons or if it is voluntary or involuntary(ie:the death of a spouse)anyway, good topic...looking forward to more....
Amen!
It's up to us to fill our own emptiness (if we even allow that).
The author is absolutely right, and there is no question.
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