February 1, 2002
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You Wanna hear about doggie doo?
I had a great plan today. After a morning of hands-on science experiments, I'm taking the kids to do errands, go shopping, visit the post office, and then meet Tim for dinner. We'd have a lovely meal and enjoy some good family time (without having to do dishes after.)
I have a "pond" in my front yard. Not a big pond. In fact a very small pond. Just about perfect for one of those little garden arrangements with plants and a couple of goldfish. There is a whole Xanga blog in why my perfect little pond is a foot and a half deep puddle of muddy red water instead of the attractive adition to the landscape that I had planned. But, that will have to be for another day. The point is, you might ask, what does the pond have to do with the plan. That's my question too. When I told my children to go ahead of me to the van while I grabbed my purse, why did they go instead to the pond and jump in?
For that matter, why did the manual of science experiments you can do with stuff you have lying around the house not mention that the ink-separating-on-a-coffee-filter-into-the-various-colors-that-comprise-that-pigment requires a REALLY cheap marker. I have markers. I have great markers. I have the kind of permanent pigment markers that DON'T RUN when the water migrates across the coffee filter. In the book, they drew a circle with blue ink then dripped water in the center. The water "drew" the ink outward and separated it into multiple colors that resulted in a tye-dye-sunburst kind of thing that looked really cool. When I did the same experiment with MY markers - I got very tidy circles on coffee filters that didn't run at all no matter how much water we put on them.
Why did my 5 year old decide to have a screaming fit in Barnes and Noble? (Where we went to buy a DIFFEReNT book of easy science experiments.) Tucker likes the bookstore. He likes to look at the books and play on the stage in the children's area. He likes to orchestrate train wrecks using the courtesy "Thomas the Tank Engine" train set that they set up to encourage kids to ask for those little $10 each train cars. Today, he literally dragged his feet all the way in the store. After I found the book we came for, I gave my kids a half hour to play and browse then it was time to go. You'd have thought I'd told him it was time to go to hell. Michael was really helpful. He "interpreted" for those people who didn't quite get it. "My, Mommy is making Tucker do something he doesn't want to do." (At the top of his lungs to be heard over the screams.)
Long story short. By the time we got done with the grocery shopping, I wasn't sure where these kids came from, but I'm fairly certain that they aren't related to me. I didn't get half the things I had on my list, but I did get an economy sized headache and a predisposition to sell my kids to the highest bidder.
Dinner was good. I think. Tucker and Michael got into the "I gotta go to the bathroom." "No thank you, I don't need to go." "Oh NOW I need to go" game. So Tim and I took turns escorting the demon spawn to the bathroom. I'm pretty sure we had dinner together. At least both our plates showed signs that someone had been eating off them by the time the check got there, but I know he and Tucker were gone when I placed the order. I was gone when they brought the food. I was there when they brought refills on drinks. I was gone when they brought the check. But, I got back in time to realize that SOMEONE had to sign the receipt and I was the only grown-up there to handle it. Are you confused? So am I. What happened to my day? What happened to my plan to get things done and have a nice family time?
I have been at home all week long. From last Sunday until last night, I never left the house except to walk the dog. For some reason I was thinking that a day out would be a nice change of pace. I don't know why I thought that. I can't wait for a nice boring day where all I have to worry about is "did the doggie doo and where did she doo it."
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My friend, Mary, is back writing on Xanga and would appreciate a visit. Like many of us, she's a writer (unlike me - she's published) and welcomes comments.
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See which Greek Goddess you are.">
Comments (11)
Hi there,
your blog brought a smile!!!!Ah yes, the joys of mothering......kept your sense of humor....loved it...
Well what a day you have had glad you survived. I had mine so long ago I think they were all angels now, but looking back I remember giving a few slaps. My picture is what I usually have on, got fed up with it, it is about 2 years old My stomach is now fatter.Thanks for visit Cheers Portia
lol, wow. I'm exhausted just reading that. Incidentally, I was freaking Aphrodite, and I don't even get that? I mean, whatzit?
You need a little excitement in your life. That's what u need. lol
My kid's favorite "Let's frazzle mom" place was typically the doctor's office -- or church. Seemed they, too, had to have an audience to bedazzle with their "talents."
You made it through a tough day, and I salute you.
Salute!!
Ah yes, the day out with the children. More fun than you can shake a 5-minute-timeout at.
Oh, that's the funniest thing I've read in a while.
I still go jump in ponds.
waterproof boots might come in handy - at least, if it doesn't dampen their "want to", it will help keep the tracked in mud factor down a bit.
I also suggest wall papering the spare bedroom with velcro, and making them velcro jumpsuits. Then you could hang a couple of bungee cords in the middle of the room, ones that stretch, but not long enough to get them to the door, that way, the snap will carry them flying across the room, and stick them to the wall. You could leave them in the velcro room, and have a nice bath with candles and everything.
UUhhmmmmm ....... ok
I don't quite know what to say to all this.
BTW - Michael is definately yours - I saw him come out.
and they are SO much better now, huh?
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