October 7, 2001

• Blue Funk -

  
  

  That's where I've been squatting lately.  The blue funk swamp.  And my troubles are so trivial compared to the day to day crisis on the news that it doesn't seem much worth complaining about them.  But, I'm complaining anyway.

  
  

  My bad time started on September 2.  I was in the midst of a longed for visit with my bestest and oldest friend, when I got the news that my grandmother had a massive stroke.  Now please don't think me heartless, but my first thought was "oh, great, I finally get a chance to relax and enjoy myself and Granny picks NOW to burst an artery."  Okay, you can think I'm heartless, I've certainly said ti to myself.

  
  

  Well, I don't deal well with guilt.  I packed up my gear and made a flying trip back home to pick up my kids and then a flying trip to Arkansas in hopes that I could make it to the hospital before my Grandmother died.  She didn't die.  Instead they stabilized her and sent her home.  Her throat is paralyzed so she can't talk, can't swallow, can't do anything but choke on the saliva that trickles down her throat.  But, they sent her home. 

  
  

  She requires round the clock care.  Constant monitoring of the feeding tube.  Constant moving her stiffened limbs so they won't atrophy.  Constantly being lifted and turned so she won't get bed sores.  I stayed as long as I could helping my family into the routine of caring for her. 

  
  

  Now I'm back home in Indiana.  After weeks of very little sleep, as soon as I got home - I got sick.  I'm at the end of ten days of coughing, sneezing, sniffling, stuufy head, fever cause I didn't rest FLU.  I've done vitamins, herbal tea, theraflu, fruit juice . . . chocolate.  I still feel roughly like something my cats disemboweled on the front steps.

  
  

  So tonight when you're watching CNN and feeling sorry for the poor people of Kabul, or worrying about what kind of retaliatory measures they may be planning against us.  I'll be in my bubble bath, soaking in my negativity, and totally focused on my own petty problems. 

  
  

  Oh, and did I mention the blessing of my kids perfect health.  What was I thinking when I decided that homeschooling them was a good idea.  I just want some nice state run institution to take them so I can sleep.

  • 8:07 pm
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