May 22, 2011

• Big Bang Theory

  So yesterday afternoon and through the evening I had 4 teen boys in my home.  All of whom are on the autism spectrum which makes for an interesting challenge as a hostess.  These are not people for whom the word “tact” has any meaning.  Gentle hints and gracious suggestions are useless in their world.  I felt like Howard’s mom from Big Bang Theory (sans brisket).   

  I’ve learned to make it clear to the guys AND their parents that if they choose to hang out at my house, they have to 1) let me know before they show up, 2) eat only the things that I’ve designated as snacks or dinner, no going through the pantry looking for better options 3) when the family room starts to resemble an uncleaned hamster cage, everyone participates in the 10 second tidy drill and 4) when it’s my bedtime they have to go home whether they are tired or not.

  Even with these reasonable rules we have such incidents as:

  Guest: “this is AMERICAN cheese?  I don’t eat American cheese on my homemade hamburgers, don’t you have any aged sharp cheddar?”
  Q-mom: “If it’s good enough for McDonalds …”
  Guest: “well, maybe you have something in the pantry I could make instead?” (of the burgers, hot dogs, and chicken I’ve cooked on the grill)
  Q-mom: “no”

  Or this one:

  Q-Mom: ”It’s time for you to call your parents, dear” (after he’s been here for 7 hours)
  Guest: “No, it’s all right, I can stay another hour or two”
  Q-Mom, “No, dear, you have to go home because I’m going to bed.”
  Guest: “Why can’t I just keep playing the wii?  I don’t care if you go to bed.”
  Q-Mom: “There’s something about the loud sound effects and yelling that makes our goals here mutually exclusive.”
  Guest: “Oh!  Why didn’t you say that!”

  Don’t get me wrong here, I like Big Bang Theory as well as anyone.  It’s just that in real life, Sheldon is less amusing and more work than he appears on television. 

  I’ve thought for years that it was best to try to plan my kids’ playdates with neuro-typical kids.  I think I was hoping that the normal would rub off on them and I wouldn’t have to spend so much time interpreting behavioral norms to them.  They would just magically “get it.” 

  Actually it turns out that spending time with Sheldon Jr. has been much more beneficial.  Normal mystifies them, but obnoxious they can understand and they want to avoid it.  So the new terribly-bad-evil-insult-which-instantly-motivates-behavioral-change has become, “You’re acting like Sheldon Jr.”

   

   

  • 8:40 am
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